It really, probably is all my fault. When she was born, the crying was so unbearable that we’d end up rocking her to sleep or (God forbid) just bringing her back into bed with us if we couldn’t take the screaming anymore. Even now, she’ll start off the night in her crib and then somehow, she magically ends up in our bed by like 3 am. We have a Queen-sized bed and my child sleeps HORRIBLY. She sprawls out and then all of a sudden both Chris and I are hanging up to our sides of the bed, though if you ever ask Chris for his side of the story, only he hangs on for dear life (so he doesn’t fall off). So we either need to a) get a bigger bed or b) get this child sleeping in her crib all night.
I’ve gotten so many suggestions, I can’t even begin to name them all. Cry-it-out I’m sure is great, in theory, but this child will give any crier a run for their money. She will cry for hours on end, her face will puff up and her eyes will turn red and she will NOT cry herself to sleep… and really, who can sit around listening to that anyway? Not me. I always knew that was never an option for us. She cried enough in her spare time, why would I let her cry on purpose?
She wakes up to feed every morning anywhere between 1 and 4 a.m. I know, I know, 7 month olds should be sleeping through the night and should not have to wake up to feed. She eats plenty at her last feeding before bed. She has a whole serving of food, sometimes mixed with cereal, plus a bit of milk. So WHY is she waking up to feed and crying at that? She doesn’t just wake up… she always wakes up crying- WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!? Please!
Guilty, again. I was reading something about habits in babies and that if we perpetuate a certain behavior, it will become a habit for them. So of course, when she gets up at 1, 2, 3, 4 a.m. we think- give her a bottle, quiet her up, get her back to sleep. So now, every night, she gets up around the same time looking for something to eat and as the days progress, I get more and more frustrated with the late night/early a.m. wakings. And really, I’m sure it’s all my fault.
All we ever wanted to do is comfort her and make her feel better when she was younger and the screaming seemed never ending. We felt so helpless and confused because no matter what we did, she still screamed/cried and never felt better, so- we let her sleep in our bed. Now, it’s like, how can we undo this because she wants to be under us all. of. the. time.
Just the other morning, she drank her bottle and fell asleep, so I tried to put her back into her crib- that did not work out so well. She woke up as soon as her face hit the sheets, looked up at me and proceeded to climb the side of the crib. So, I tried to shush her back to sleep and put her back down- but it became this back-and-forth up and down battle between she and I- and she won. I damn near lost it. Chris came over to the crib, because I am sure he saw the smoke coming out of my ears, picked her up and I just looked at him and said “HERE!” Gave him the pacifier and went to sit in the bed.
I. Was. Over it. Seriously… Go to sleep.
Anyway, we know that Cadence is over tired. I’ve been telling her Doctors for months- my child does not sleep. Stop f*in telling me that this is what babies do and take a look at the dark circles under her eyes. She doesn’t want to nap and she doesn’t sleep through the night. If she naps for more than 30 minutes, we are very lucky. Right now, as I type, she is asleep next to me on the sofa for going on 2 hours- how does this happen?
During the day, when I put her down in her crib, she’ll give me 20/30 minutes. Put her down in our bed- especially if I get in the bed with her? She’ll give you a 2-hour nap. Lay her on the sofa next to you and she may give you a 2-hour nap. So why the hell won’t she give me a 2-hour nap in her crib? Shoot, I’ll take 1-hour… anything!
My friend Melissa, who has a daughter 3 weeks younger than Cadence, had this advice for me:
Melissa: “does the crib have wheels?”
Me: “no it doesn’t”
Melissa: “oh, mine is on caster wheels so I can like shake it”
Me: “shake it”
Melissa: “it helps!”
Me: “shaken baby syndrome”
Melissa: ” ha ha, yeah not shake it, just push it back and forth”
Melissa went on to tell me about the wonderful schedule her daughter is on and how she’s been sleeping through the night since she was 3 months. So I don’t feel too bad about myself, I remind myself that this is Melissa’s fourth child and of course she has it down. I hope that if I ever have four children, I have it down by then too… if I ever have four children… so funny.
I know that Cadence needs to be on a schedule. Once upon a time, she was on a schedule and honestly, I’m not sure what happened. She started scheduling me instead of the other way around. I have to go backwards so we can move forward.
So tonight, I am initiating my pro-active stance on Cadence’s ability to stop waking up for night feedings, sleep through the night and stay in her crib… not necessarily in that order and not necessarily all three. We’ll see how well this goes.
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Man you just took me down memory lane…a not so good one, but one nonetheless lol.
My son and I shared a room until he was about 10 months old. I am a super light sleeper so when ever he would fuss in the middle of the night, I would instantly pick him up and bring him back in bed with me. It seemed to make him sleep longer and as a result, I got more sleep. After about 3-4 months, he started sleeping through the night, the bassinet got moved out of the room and he had himself a permanent spot in my bed. Luckily since I was a light sleeper, I was always aware of if he felt like he was slipping if he was on top of me, or how close he was if he was next to me so I wasn’t worried about any of those dangers. I knew it was a bad habit I was creating and even though at first it was kind of uncomfortable, after awhile, I loved it. I had me a cuddle buddy every night. I loved taking naps with him in my arms throughout the day as well.
Even though I had a queen sized bed, the older he got, the wilder he became. I had to get a bed rail and would always find myself on the edge of the bed! I couldn’t wait until we moved and not only would he get his own bed, but his own room. Things didn’t go so well at first. For one, he had never slept in his own bed before and two, we had just moved so he was unaware/scared of the new environment. People kept telling me to try “tough love” and to let him cry it out, or else I would never break the habit. Well, call me a punk but I just couldn’t do it. I don’t believe in letting my baby HOLLER for me like that, knowing he is scared and calling out to me and just ignoring him. Plus like you said, who could sleep or just stand to listen to that for long? Jaedyn would not give in either. You’d think after so long the kid would just freaking fall asleep, but nope…not this kid.
I’d rock him to sleep every night and keep him in my arms until he got his lil grown man snore going on, and would attempt to lay him in his crib as gently as I could, but he would pop right back up, stand up and clinch on to me. I tried playing baby cd’s, standing in there, rubbing and comforting him, singing to him, even tried sleeping on his floor thinking if he at least saw me there it would bring him some comfort, NOPE! After hours of this, I’d eventually bring him back in my room and in bed with me. After…idk, a couple of weeks, a friend of mine gave me this rainforest thing that attached to the crib. I would turn it on, rock him to sleep and it took a few nights but he finally stayed in his crib, but not all night. He would sleep in his crib until maybe 5-6am then still end up in bed with me. Over time, he eventually started sleeping through the night. Before, he wouldn’t go to bed until 1-2 o’clock in the morning. Now he is in bed no later than 9:30 and it’s heavenly because I can finally get some me time in. It sucks because I’m usually up late and he wakes up earlier than I would like, but it’s so nice to have a normal schedule.
There is hope though. I didn’t ever think he would sleep in his own crib after 10 months of being up under me. Now it’s RARE that the rascal will fall asleep to even take a nap with me in my bed. I used to have to rock him to sleep first, then put him in his crib, but now he’d rather me just put him in his crib. He knows how to turn the rainforest thing on & off on his own now. I think that helped a lot. It takes a lot of patience though…and of course a lot of sleep deprivation if you want it to work, but it will eventually pay off. It’s possible because we were in the same boat. I was totally against the cry it out thing too. Hope this helped some and good luck!
My 20 week old granddaughter is sitting on my lap so her mom can have a shower, She is captivated by the sounds of Cadence in the video.
*Please* stop “should”‘ing yourself and stop blaming yourself. People are so out of touch about what’s normal for babies that they get mad at themselves for things that are totally normal. It’s normal that she wants to sleep with you & that she sleeps better with you. I haven’t even owned a crib for my last 2 kids. It’s normal that she wakes to eat during the night. I know adults who wake up to eat something at night too. She’s still just a tiny baby with a tiny tummy.
I’m on my third baby and at this point, I expect that he’ll still be nursing at least once a night until 18 months-2 years. More when sick or teething. It’s easier if you expect things will take longer than everyone says they “Should”, that way you can be pleasantly surprised if they take less. Especially when you remember that “sleeping through the night” is understood by experts to mean “sleeping *5* hours in a row”.
I totally know what you mean about the black circles and the not sleeping. The doctor told me my oldest would sleep when he got tired enough. I barely restrained myself from laughing in his face. If you have an overtired baby, the *only* thing that matters is doing whatever you need to do to get them the sleep they need. I didn’t want to sleep with my oldest during the day, so for about 6 months, I pushed him in the stroller. 1 – 1 1/2 hours of pushing would eventually put him to sleep, for an hour. He was still exhausted. I finally started going upstairs & napping with him around when he was 1. He still hates sleeping at nearly 8, but at least he started getting enough. And if you can help her get enough daytime sleep, you may find she sleeps better at night, too.
Oh Wow! Thanks! I’m glad that it brings her joy. My husband and I love that also. It makes you remember what’s so special and cool about being a parent.