It really, probably is all my fault. When she was born, the crying was so unbearable that we’d end up rocking her to sleep or (God forbid) just bringing her back into bed with us if we couldn’t take the screaming anymore. Even now, she’ll start off the night in her crib and then somehow, she magically ends up in our bed by like 3 am. We have a Queen-sized bed and my child sleeps HORRIBLY. She sprawls out and then all of a sudden both Chris and I are hanging up to our sides of the bed, though if you ever ask Chris for his side of the story, only he hangs on for dear life (so he doesn’t fall off). So we either need to a) get a bigger bed or b) get this child sleeping in her crib all night.
I’ve gotten so many suggestions, I can’t even begin to name them all. Cry-it-out I’m sure is great, in theory, but this child will give any crier a run for their money. She will cry for hours on end, her face will puff up and her eyes will turn red and she will NOT cry herself to sleep… and really, who can sit around listening to that anyway? Not me. I always knew that was never an option for us. She cried enough in her spare time, why would I let her cry on purpose?
She wakes up to feed every morning anywhere between 1 and 4 a.m. I know, I know, 7 month olds should be sleeping through the night and should not have to wake up to feed. She eats plenty at her last feeding before bed. She has a whole serving of food, sometimes mixed with cereal, plus a bit of milk. So WHY is she waking up to feed and crying at that? She doesn’t just wake up… she always wakes up crying- WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!? Please!
Guilty, again. I was reading something about habits in babies and that if we perpetuate a certain behavior, it will become a habit for them. So of course, when she gets up at 1, 2, 3, 4 a.m. we think- give her a bottle, quiet her up, get her back to sleep. So now, every night, she gets up around the same time looking for something to eat and as the days progress, I get more and more frustrated with the late night/early a.m. wakings. And really, I’m sure it’s all my fault.
All we ever wanted to do is comfort her and make her feel better when she was younger and the screaming seemed never ending. We felt so helpless and confused because no matter what we did, she still screamed/cried and never felt better, so- we let her sleep in our bed. Now, it’s like, how can we undo this because she wants to be under us all. of. the. time.
Just the other morning, she drank her bottle and fell asleep, so I tried to put her back into her crib- that did not work out so well. She woke up as soon as her face hit the sheets, looked up at me and proceeded to climb the side of the crib. So, I tried to shush her back to sleep and put her back down- but it became this back-and-forth up and down battle between she and I- and she won. I damn near lost it. Chris came over to the crib, because I am sure he saw the smoke coming out of my ears, picked her up and I just looked at him and said “HERE!” Gave him the pacifier and went to sit in the bed.
I. Was. Over it. Seriously… Go to sleep.
Anyway, we know that Cadence is over tired. I’ve been telling her Doctors for months- my child does not sleep. Stop f*in telling me that this is what babies do and take a look at the dark circles under her eyes. She doesn’t want to nap and she doesn’t sleep through the night. If she naps for more than 30 minutes, we are very lucky. Right now, as I type, she is asleep next to me on the sofa for going on 2 hours- how does this happen?
During the day, when I put her down in her crib, she’ll give me 20/30 minutes. Put her down in our bed- especially if I get in the bed with her? She’ll give you a 2-hour nap. Lay her on the sofa next to you and she may give you a 2-hour nap. So why the hell won’t she give me a 2-hour nap in her crib? Shoot, I’ll take 1-hour… anything!
My friend Melissa, who has a daughter 3 weeks younger than Cadence, had this advice for me:
Melissa: “does the crib have wheels?”
Me: “no it doesn’t”
Melissa: “oh, mine is on caster wheels so I can like shake it”
Me: “shake it”
Melissa: “it helps!”
Me: “shaken baby syndrome”
Melissa: ” ha ha, yeah not shake it, just push it back and forth”
Melissa went on to tell me about the wonderful schedule her daughter is on and how she’s been sleeping through the night since she was 3 months. So I don’t feel too bad about myself, I remind myself that this is Melissa’s fourth child and of course she has it down. I hope that if I ever have four children, I have it down by then too… if I ever have four children… so funny.
I know that Cadence needs to be on a schedule. Once upon a time, she was on a schedule and honestly, I’m not sure what happened. She started scheduling me instead of the other way around. I have to go backwards so we can move forward.
So tonight, I am initiating my pro-active stance on Cadence’s ability to stop waking up for night feedings, sleep through the night and stay in her crib… not necessarily in that order and not necessarily all three. We’ll see how well this goes.
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