To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing this letter because I feel as though I have had enough. Do you find great pleasure in frustrating the exact consumers who keep you in business? Who, do you ask could I possibly be talking about? Mothers! That’s who.

Mothers who absolutely dread taking their children into any public place- especially into stores where there is so much for them to touch, grab and want to take home. Stores where they can easily throw a fit and bring your shopping trip to an abrupt halt because you just want to get out of there and avoid any further frustration and embarrassment.

The decision to buy one of your toys does not come lightly. Let’s be realistic, our children already have enough toys. They are taking over our homes, cars and diaper bags. Some of them eat up batteries so quickly- which is another expense and our children aren’t even amused with them for that long! I give a good toy at most 2 weeks in my house before Cadence has moved on to something more interesting like the plug for the fan hanging out of the wall. Yeah- that tickles her fancy way more than your noisy toy with flashing lights and moving parts- the plug gets her every time!

Excuse me as I jump off topic for a second, but why is it that your toys are so expensive? Some of the toys don’t even have a life span as long as a typical male worker ant who, by the way, DIE after mating. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but is it safe to say that most of your toys are made in China or some other far away Asian country where I am sure you don’t pay the workers 1/2 as much as what you are charging me to buy your toy? I’m just saying.

My biggest pet peeve to date, though, has GOT to be the way that your toys are packaged. Do you have it in for us Moms? Have we done something to you besides purchase your toys? Then WHY is it so damn hard to get your toys out of their packaging?

You see, when we buy these toys for our children- the goal is to get the toys out of their packaging as quickly as possible and give our children the 5 minutes or so of play time- enough for us to do menial things like: use the bathroom, get a pot on the stove with some water to boil for dinner, or even put away some of the groceries. But, alas, you make it EVER so difficult for us Moms. You, with all of your twisty-ties and plastic thingamajigs… we need scissors and knives and an act of God to get the toys out of their boxes. Is this really necessary? And just when we think that we’ve got the toy out of all of the locks, we flip it over to see that there is just one more security feature in place strapping it to the piece of cardboard you put it on.

Yes, you, with your very unclear directions telling us how to put the toy together and your air-tight plastic packaging. We have to either stab the bag or use our teeth to tear them open. What ever happened to just ripping it with your hands? And why do all of your toys require the type of screwdriver that we just don’t seem to have in our toolbox? It’s not a Phillips, no it’s not a Flathead-it’s some funky type of screwdriver and we have to resort to witchcraft and trickery to screw the pieces into place.

I don’t like you- you silly toy company people. Unfortunately, my daughter loves you and I will probably continue to be swindled by all of the toys you make. That does not stop me and other Moms across the world from cursing you every time we bring one of your toys home!

Sincerely,

Me

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