So, I am a pretty open book. Anything that I write here on my blog is something that I would tell Joe Schmo on the street. Anything that is meant to be private, probably won’t make it onto the screen on my computer. The “private” things, though, are far and few in between.

I don’t know how my family is going to feel about this post, but you know how sometimes things need to be said? Yeah… this is one of those things.

You guys have read about my personal struggles with my depression and you’ve helped me raise money for Pediatric Cancer research. This journey has allowed me to reevaluate my life and think about what things are most important- what things I choose to teach my daughter in regards to morals, etc.

My family is large. By way of marriage, divorces, extended relations and others, I have ten brothers and sisters. I grew up around seven of them rather closely. We have always been there for each other. Through tears, fights- whatever.

For privacy purposes, I’ve made everyone, but myself anonymous in this photo.

That’s us…

Quick story. When I was in middle school, these kids wanted to jump me because they thought I told on them.

(If you are unfamiliar with the term “jump”- when a large group of people beat up a person or a group of people smaller in number than them)
So, my older brother (my senior by 6 years) and sister (my senior by 9 years) both showed up at my middle school ready to know who was fuckin’ with me and ready to get their asses kicked by my siblings.

That is the kind of family we are… were. There for each other at the drop of a dime and regardless of whatever differences we may have had- people knew that if you fucked with one, you fucked with all of us.

Bottom Line.

More recently, more and more “issues” are being brought to the surface and my family is being torn apart by them. People are taking sides, pointing fingers, placing blame, gossiping, disliking, being vindictive and in my opinion, straight up mean.

I am not going to tell you what these issues are, because then I would be doing what some other people are doing- bringing people outside of the family into our business. I will also be speaking on things that really do not involve me and I would not be giving you facts, but rather the snippets of information that I have heard from multiple sources (so technically, 3rd hand information) and molded together to try and reinact in my mind what happened.

This is not my place to do. All of the information that I have received is “alleged” as far as I’m concerned because I was not there, so I don’t know that any of this even happened.

When you are angry and feel that you are right, you want to get your point across and you want to be heard and you want to be right. I think in the process, we start to make shit up to make us seem like the victim or to get others to take our side. And the shit that we make up? We actually start to believe it!

But is that what it’s about?

A co-worker of my husband told me that you don’t get to choose your family, God gives them to you, but you get to choose your friends.

What a blessing when you actually consider your family members as your friends!!

If my younger brother (8 years younger) asks me for advice,  I give him my advice two-fold. As his sister and as his friend, he can take my advice or not- no offense taken on my part.

Why? ‘Cause it’s his life and he asked for my advice. Once I give my advice, he is free to do with it what he chooses. If he makes a bad decision, I’ll be there to help pick him up and do what I can- within reason- to set him back on the right path. I’m not gonna spoon feed him and support everything he does and I will DEFINITELY give him tough love when I see fit.

Cause we are family.

I think maybe my family is losing sight of the above statement.

I think that some people are only thinking of themselves and not taking other people into consideration before they speak and act.

I think that some people are not taking notice to the fact that their words and actions just might burn some bridges down.

I think these same people are forgetting that once a bridge is burned, that’s it. It will need to be rebuilt and building bridges is a job that takes skill, tenacity and above all- patience. It is not an easy job and sometimes great people die in the process of building bridges.

My father used to play this song and one line in the song stated: “The bridge you burn today, you may need tomorrow…

Don’t you burn your bridges down.”

Wise words, folks.

I also want to remind how toxic things like gossip and grudges are. It decays you from the inside out little-by-little.

These things destroy.

They make you more miserable than the person that you are gossiping about/holding a grudge against.

I’ve seen how these things destroy friendships, so imagine what they can do to families…

This post is my way of saying my piece without actually becoming involved. I am very open about sharing my feelings with my family and I constantly preach togetherness and things of that nature.

Frankly, I think it goes in one ear and out the other.

But, I try anyway. I will continue to call people out if I think they’re doing wrong. I will not take sides, because we are all family. I will not be a-party to the gossiping and accusations.

And this, my family is the reason I am glad that I don’t live nearby. I know every family has issues, but it is up to me to decide whether I want this kind of poison in my life. I don’t want these distractions and nasty behavior infiltrating my or my daughter’s life.

We need to love one another. Bottom line.

Family First.

That is all.

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