That is the one word that I would use to describe the class that I have inherited.

I owe you explanations, so let’s back up.

My husband is a government employee and is being transferred to Colorado. With that news, I decided to hit the trail looking for jobs. There were SO many daycare/$10 per hour jobs, which don’t get my wrong, I’m not “too good” for daycare… the opposite is true. I’m probably HORRIBLE for daycare.

I loose my patience with my own toddler, I can’t imagine having a whole building full of human beings toddler-aged and younger. BUT, I applied because I really, really believe that any job is better than no job. I am a working woman… that’s what I’m supposed to be doing. God Bless the woman who wants to stay home 24/7 with her own kids. Ahhh.

My husband and I have created a monster and being in the house with her all day, every day with no car and no friends and no other outlets for her besides me? I’m surprised I didn’t blow my head off…

Anyway. Within a few days of applying for a bazillion jobs, I got two job interviews- 1 for daycare and 1 for… you ready? First Grade (hold your breath Jill). And really, I am forever indebted to two women by the name of Penny and Dawn- my references. I don’t know what the hell they said to my prospective employer, but they called right after talking to both women and said we want you- now. “Your references are singing your praises” is what they said and “we have high expectations for you based on what they said.”

So… here’s something important that I learned. You can’t hate everyone you work with and burn all of the bridges. Penny, the best person ever in life used to be my boss, then she moved on and we got a new boss… CB as she is referred to by some employees (I’ll let you guess what that acronym means) CB and I didn’t get along…I just wasn’t a fan and I’m not an ass kisser so I wasn’t going to even pretend that I thought she was the best shit since sliced bread. Knowing that we didn’t get along, I listed our awesome Curriculum Dean, Dawn as my point-of-reference at my last job. I liked Dawn, Dawn liked me… and she was kinda my boss so… it paid off.

Fast forward…

I walk into my new school (after madly packing my whole home from Saturday to Thursday then flying to Colorado solo- with a toddler- husband can’t come til next week when work releases him) and everyone’s like “yoooou’re the new teacher”.

Uh Oh.

And my class is “the class.” I remember one time my friend Jill (who also teaches 1st grade) was absent and when she returned there was a pencil or a pair of safety scissors (I can’t remember) embedded in her ceiling. One of her bad ass kids thought it would be fun to do that… yeah. ALMOST EVERY kid is my class is supposedly that kid. The original teacher had a surgery that didn’t allow her to return, then the kids went through 5 or 6 subs until they got a sub that would stick around. And for 6 weeks, they’ve had a long term sub.

Imagine this noise: “BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

That’s what it sounds like when you walk into my room. You can hear my kids down the hall, you can hear them everywhere. They run around, they call out, they leave the room without asking, they are ALWAYS behind the teacher’s desk or going in her closets or out of their seats.

FREEZE

I don’t operate like that. I am that teacher. Super-duper anal-retentive, borderline OCD organized. My kids listen to me, they know to raise their hands- they know what the look means. So I look at this class and I’m like you’ve got to be shittin me.

BUT it’s doable. We just gotta start from day one. Like this is how we walk in the hall, this is how you act in class, I don’t answer people who shout at me, you raise your hand, where’s your pass, etc. etc. etc.  Aaand since Mrs. Awesome came back to the classroom and took everything off of the walls and out of the classroom once she decided she wasn’t coming back (and I mean EVERYTHING- think stapler, tape dispenser, paper. clips.) I am starting with a blank slate, which is fine with me. But that also means I spent WAY too much money at the teacher supply store yesterday and I haven’t even been paid yet. That also means that I am drowning in things that are laminated to be cut out (please don’t let me forget to tell you about the laminator nazi… dear God).

So, that’s what’s going on as quickly and as efficiently as I can let you know.

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