So as I was standing in the shower this morning, giving myself 3rd degree burns with hot water, I was wondering- why the fuck does Kesha (sorry, I refuse to spell her name with a dollar sign- that’s dumb) get to wake up in the morning feelin’ like P-Diddy and I wake up in the morning feelin’ like shit? Especially after taking this Tylenol Cold PM that knocks me the hell out. Maybe… just MAYBE it’s because she (and I quote) brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack Daniels- I think anyone would fuckin feel like someone else after that. Shit, Jack’ll make you grow hair on your chest.

Anyway… enough with the peek into my strange mind.

This week has been tough cause we are all sick- YET AGAIN. Friggin Colorado. I like it here, I really do- but for the love of God!!! I haven’t lived in a cold climate in 5 years, the husband hasn’t lived in a cold climate in well over 10 years and Baby C… well she’s lived in a cold climate uhhh- never!!!!! That combined with the large number of allergens in the Colorado air and the fact that this family thoroughly enjoys rotating our germs, despite the fact that I was sheets/pillowcases and spray Lysol like this is a damn hospital. So yeah… I’m ready for Spring. Winter? check please…

And if that wasn’t enough- it snowed like nobody’s friggin business on Sunday and Monday morning, I was hoping and praying for a snow delay (a teacher’s dream) but alas, not our school district. And you know, fine- I get it- not everyone can have a snow delay or a snow day- whatever. But I get in my all-wheel drive Nissan prepared to drive between 20-30 miles per hour all 20 miles to work and this FUCK FACE decides to ride my bumper while I am driving behind a semi-truck trying desperately to change lanes. Oh, I’m sorry… I didn’t realize that ice and snow on the road meant that we should still go the speed limit of 55. And really, Colorado? You think that we’d have it together by now anyway… it’s only been snowing in Colorado since always. Why don’t you folks know how to drive in the snow by now? I’m doing well and it’s only been a few months. We already know I have a low tolerance for people who can’t friggin’ drive and I tell you what if it wasn’t snowy and icy I just may have stepped on my damn brakes so that loser would know not to drive so damn close to me.

And while I’m on the subject of Colorado and snow… People, why don’t we plow the roads? I mean- is that optional? ‘Cause really? It shouldn’t be. Why am I driving on an unpaved road in front of my school? They plow the interstate- that’s fine, but residential areas? Get shit on. And that’s just ridiculous- why the frick are we paying taxes, then? And a school? Seriously? You can’t pave the roads by a school? Where parents, school buses and teachers drive? Ugh.

I am fully looking forward to this long weekend. Maybe by then the congestion will have left my head and I can write a blog post of more substance.

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