I have never been one to back down from a challenge.

Ever.

Heck, I ran around the bonfire in college (and you know how you gotta run around the bonfire ) because my friend Chachi wanted a partner to do it with and so many people were like “yeah right.”

So after school a few of the teachers and I are pow-wowing in my boss’ office talking about a whole bunch of nothing- a great way to decompress after a long week at school- and one of our teachers, Jenn mentions that she gave up cursing for Lent.

**Sidebar: Jenn and I may be the two loudest, most vulgar teachers in the whole building… maybe… though my boss could totally give us a run for our money.**

And my boss looks at me and says “you could never do that.”

WHAT?

Is that a challenge?

Cause really? I rock challenges.

Hands down.

So the terms are: 50¢ for every slip-up AND a Hail Mary.

Now I’m not Catholic, but I did go to a Catholic college and I taught at a Catholic school for two years and my first roommate out of college Liz? Is now married to Jesus (no joke, she joined the convent) so really? I know Hail Mary’s like I know golden oreos (and I know Golden Oreos really well).

Hail Mary, Full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus
Holy Mary, mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death

A-MEN

I don’t mind sayin’ a  Hail Mary, but I ain’t got 50¢ to be givin’ away every time I drop an ‘F’ bomb. Even more specific? I can not, I repeat- can NOT write curse words.

Really?

This should be interesting. Because I can’t remember the last time I wrote a blog post that did not have a curse word- not even one. I’ll have to look back….

I can’t text curse words…

I can’t use curse words in my Facebook status….

Lawd, what have I gotten myself into?

So I took to Facebook to inform the world of my newest conquest and the jury was out before I could even drive home:
**I have removed last names to protect my peeps from the stalkers**

I’ve been thinking of more clever things that I can say in place of f ***,b****, sh**, a**, mofo, and other words I enjoy- including my new favorite f***tard.

(This no cursing also includes the  three letter h word and the d words that can so easily be mistaken as non-curse words… at least to me)

So far, I’ve come up with:

• “What the flapjack?!“
• “Mother Farmer!“
• “This is some bullstarch…“
• “Son of a bird’s egg”

Any of those workin’ out you think?

Maybe if I write them down on flash cards, I’ll have them to reference to when I may want to say something inappropriate, but can’t.

We’ll see.

Look out for my new key phrases in my blog posts too.

I can do this.

Then? My boss is takin’ me out for drinks for doubting ya girl.

Bring. It. On.

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