Last week, I stumbled upon a book that… Oh my God talk about funny.
Funny. Ass. Book. Seriously.
So my own version of “Understand Rap” has emerged here on A Bittersweet Existence.
I love me some rap music. And seriously, some of the lyrics are hilarious- especially when “translated” into proper English. I consulted with my fellow teacher Katie of Sluiter Nation (who often quotes rap and refers to herself as the “whitest chick alive” and have decided that my first lyric? Will be from…
Magic Stick
by Lil’ Kim featuring 50 Cent
Off the album: La Bella Mafia
Year: 2003
Original Lyrics:
“Lil’ Kim not a whore
But I sex a nigga so good, he gotta tell his boys
When it, come to sex don’t test my skills
Cause my head game have you HEAD over heels
Give a nigga the chills, have him payin’ my bills
Buy matchin’ Lambo’s with the same color wheels…”
Translation:
Lil’ Kim is not a promiscuous female that sleeps with any thing that walks,
but, I must say, that I am very skilled at fornicating. So much so, that any man I have intercourse with will want to tell his friends about how good it was.
When it comes to the area of intercourse, my abilities are paramount and should not be questioned or challenged
The way that I give fellatio will excite you so much, you will feel like you are going crazy!
It will give you goosebumps and have you feeling slightly enchanted- to the point where you will want to pay all of my bills.
You will even buy two, identical Lamborghinis for the both of us with wheels that are the same color.
You are so welcome.
This is gonna be so much fun for me. Want to see your favorite rap lyric translated here? Email me . We’ll git ‘er dun.
Come on…don’t copy- get your own material. Nobody likes a cheater! Original & Hand Written Plagiarism Will Be Detected. This site is being monitored by CopyGator. Mmkay? Thanks.
Hey from your mom-in-law. I always wondered what they meant!!! I saw 8 mile and liked it and kinda understood it. Thanks for the insite. Love your blog gleaned allot of great fun things that keep me laughing and wonder where it all comes from. You are so creative and fun. Much Love.
Haha! Love me some rap lyrics. This is hilarious. I was just thinking that I am going to have to completely overhaul my iPod with more kid-friendly tunes, or at least the edited versions of some songs. But what’s the fun in that?
The baby and I spend so much time on the fitness ball together, I quote a little Jay-Z every time we jump on. “Bounce with me, bounce with me…”
Melissa (@melrut01)´s last [type] ..Quinn’s Weekend Adventures- Wine Tasting
lol Great song!
Saw this on Katie’s blog AND had to come over and take a look! When my daughter was first born I totally rapped to her, but I changed the words to make it kid friendly. And not that you asked but here it is:
“Rollin’ down the street in my stroller
Sippin’ on booby juice
Laid back, with my mind on my mommy and my mommy on mind”
Nice, yes?
Yuliya´s last [type] ..back to school
That? Is classic! I can’t stop laughing I love it!
Oh. MAH…that is the best book I’ve ever seen. HAHAHAHAH!!
Kimberly´s last [type] ..Secret Mommy-hood Confession Saturday
I. Am. Dying.
This is truly awesome. Because you KNOW that translation runs through my head as I rap this in my 2002 chevy cavelier rolling down the highway at 80 mph imagining that I am, in fact, Lil Kim.
ahem.
katie´s last [type] ..giving grief words
LMFAO I truly hope not girl.
That is truly hysterical. It reminded me of this – http://youtu.be/6bpIbdZhrzA