This past Sunday my home girl Katie posted her weekly photos, one of which had a picture of her ever-so-awesome Eddie with a pacifier in his mouth. Now, Eddie is two, has a full head of gorgeous blonde hair… he likes trains and standing by the TV in the nude (who doesn’t?!).
Anyway, Katie had some asshat of a commenter tell her that her kid was too old to have a pacifier. This kinda lit a fire under my ass. But never fear, I didn’t even need to comment because Katie’s readers ripped this random commenter a new one.
Now listen folks. Pea lost her pacifier just before her first birthday and I really mean “lost.” We went on a road trip to see her Dad’s family and I told her that we left her paci at home. Really, I didn’t leave it at home, but I was waiting for her to have an all-out blowout.. if she did, I would’ve given the pacifier back- but she didn’t. With that being said, that was just a strategy I was trying.
Who is this lady to tell Katie her kid is too old for a pacifier? Is she the pacifier police? The parenting police?
I don’t judge any parent for their choices. What I have learned is that we do what we need to do- whether it’s to keep the peace, stop the crying, maintain our sanity- whatever. Parenting is hard. Peace is wonderful.
Since the parenting police are out there, I thought I’d confess this Saturday about my “bad Mommy” moments. Maybe the parenting police will find me and give me a fine.
I confess that:
- I gave Pea a TV in her room. I resisted it. I did… but you know what? I like to watch TV… that’s something my husband and I do together. And I would like to watch TV without my daughter shouting “my turn, it’s my turn!” So, I went out and got her a TV. Whatever. #MommyFail
- When my kid is flipping out in public, I give her whatever the heck she wants so that she will shut the heck up and not embarrass the piss out of me. #MommyFail
- Sometimes we let her eat a cookie first thing in the morning when we go to Einstein’s Bagels because dammit that’s what they have in the display window and she doesn’t want a banana and orange juice. And we? Want to drive in peace without screaming in the car about cookies. #MommyFail
- We buy her toys that she wants at Target or Walmart. Not every toy and not all of the time, but many times, we do. The Ariel Little Mermaid tub toy and the My Little Pony Train… Yup, she is spoiled. But she’s also an only child who could have siblings right now, but doesn’t. So, she’s spoiled. Sue me. #MommyFail
- Pea co-slept with us until the beginning of this year just before her 3rd birthday. And when I say co-sleep I mean, she slept in our bed like a wild animal and one of us ended up sleeping on the sofa because we have a Queen-sized bed not very well suited for three people. But? It was either let her sleep in our room and sleep all night or try to get her to sleep in her own room and get up 60 times a night because that’s how many times she would wake up crying wanting to sleep with us. #MommyFail
- My child has never slept, not once since the day she was born. On a good night, I can get her to bed by 8:30. There have been days that she has been up past 10 pm. Having had enough of that bull, I found an all-natural sleep supplement to give this child and now she’s out like a light within 30 minutes of having it. #MommyFail
- My kid shouts at me: No! You don’t do dat Mommy! I want this now! and you know what? I yell right back. She will know that she will not talk to me in that manner. #MommyFail
- If my kid keeps pushing, if I redirect, ask her kindly to do something and she still keeps being defiant? A spanking will follow. Not an all out, brawl out go get the belt, make your skin red spanking. But she will get a tap on dat ass and get sent to her room. Go ahead, call the spanking police. #MommyFail
- I let my child live off of chicken nuggets, fish sticks, yogurt, cheerios, milk, pop-tarts, cookies, french fries, macaroni & cheese and hot dogs. I just do. Because forcing her to eat other stuff at this juncture? Is not worth it… not to me. #MommyFail
But you know what? My child is healthy. She is well cared for. She is loved (she just came up to me and said she had three kisses just for me!)… she is loved more than humanly imaginable. She is my miracle baby. She is smart, probably smarter than your three year old (yeah, I said it) and that is what matters. How I go about parenting my child is my business… and in that same breath I will say that how anyone else chooses to parent their child is their own business. If all basic needs (and then some) are being met, what’s the big deal. Or is there a Parenting Bible that we didn’t read?
If the aforementioned things make me a “bad mom,” then Shout-out to all the “bad moms” everywhere.
What are your “bad mom moments?
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I love it! There is literally not a single thing in your confession list that I don’t do as well. I’m constantly getting shit from my Hubby for buying my five year old something cheap, just to make for a somewhat pleasurable shopping experience. He also eats cookies for breakfast more often than I’m willing to admit. Whatever! People eat donuts for breakfast and you can’t tell me cookies are any worse than that… I mean, at least he’s eating something, right? I also have a seven month old, who has become the “man in my bed”, while Daddy has pretty much permanently moved to the couch. We’re not “bad” moms… we’re REAL moms!
I thought I knew everything about parenting… until I became one! sheesh… I said I would never, ever have a tv in the car and I confess I judged even after having kids… until I went on a trip with my kids. We now have two travelling tv’s. I also judged parents that ‘allowed’ their kids to have tantrums in public… until my second daughter schooled me on tantrums, and I can promise you I don’t ‘allow’ that shit… but she doesn’t seem to get that at the ripe old age of FOUR!
Not long ago my little one, disregarding the fact that I don’t ‘allow’ public display of tantrum… threw one of monumental proportion at the grocery store. It is the first time I teetered on being MORTIFIED… standing in the checkout line, someone in front of me and someone behind, I was trapped. I am sweating… I mean apologizing profusely but it was not good enough for this passer by woman and at first I thought she was just pointing out the obvious, which I am totally cool with because well it was the truth… but she wouldn’t let it go, so I’ve got my little one throwing a bitch fit and a bitch giving me a hard time. I just looked at that woman and yelled, in front of everyone FUCK OFF. It felt like the entire store went quiet, no one looked at me after that, except for the teenager behind the register and his eyes were the size of saucers…
Karma/life/our own doing has a way of taking care of business… my kids are my best teachers when it comes to acceptance, tolerance and being non judgmental. They are helping to make me a better person… I’ve retired my know it all hat!
I’m a bad mom… hell I’m bad at a lot of things… and that is more than OK!
I found out about your blog from Make Mommy Go Something Something and so glad… YAY. Great Post!
Amy´s last [type] ..Ordinary befitting a Wednesday…
You are candid and I like that a lot. Why do people feel the need to judge other parents? Better question: why do they think they have the RIGHT to judge? This is my first trip to your blog and I’m wondering what took me so long.
Lucy´s last [type] ..i love you as much
One of my good friends has a saying, “The only perfect parents are those without kids”. I haven’t been blessed with kids yet but just from all of the younger siblings and cousins (I’m the oldest on both sides of the family) I have SO much respect for parents as this is a non-stop commitment. I still don’t know how my mom survived us.
I confess that I have helped my kids form bad habits and now have to punish them for my wrong doings. They are who we are and they do what we allow them to do… it anit easy…
Oh Lord. You are SO right! We won’t even talk about the bad habits that Pea has formed because of me and like you said, now I’m punishing her because of them. Parenting is hard.
I’m horrified at how bad of a mom you are.
I’m guilty of a few of those and a few you didn’t mention.. every single one of my girls went to bed with a bottle except Syd who was the ONLY binky baby of the three and she sucked that thing til she was 4! We still tell her that the day we took that binky away was the worst day of our life because that’s the day she started whining. We yell. A lot. You’d think we grew up in the Bronx the way we yell around here. And by we, I mean all five of us. But we also love just as loud.
I have a theory about the asshat parents.. they’re just as guilty as all of us they just need to add deceitful to their list of characteristics. Because no one that is a parent is perfect and if they are, I feel sorry for their kids because they’re going to end up asshats just like their parents.
Kristen Daukas´s last [type] ..Mayberry RFD
lol! I love the abundant use of the word asshat… and yes, they will be asshats when they grow up!
other moms are such assholes sometimes. Don’t they do things that work for them and their children. WHo are we to judge.
Who?
Seriously. Parenting would be so much easier if we all just cut each other some slack
Kimberly´s last [type] ..Secret Mommy-hood Confession Saturday
Totally agree Kim. It would be. We are so hard on each other. SMH
Oh D-Hug! You know my boys. The older one drove me so insane over one summer watching the friggin Wiggles I went and bought a TV for the back room. I couldn’t take it anymore. The second one…well, he beats to his own tune. I guess I am a bad mom because he brought home a note from school and after I got onto him, I went and hid in the bathroom laughing hysterically!–Then made color copies at work so I could send them to the grandparents!
And I am sorry, anyone that says their child’s favorite foods are not nuggets and mac and cheese are LIARS! So there!
Of course you laughed! I probably would have too, though.
Oh bless you…. I’m the same type of “bad mom” so what? It works for you, it works for us, and I dare say it works for thousands more. The only parenting advice I EVER dole out? “Don’t give out parenting advice” I stick to it. Mt daughter is spoiled too. She is 6.. and an only child. I was sick with cancer the whole first year of her life, so I over indulge for the time I lost with her… does that make me a bad parent? She is happy, healthy, and is loved by her class mates, teachers, and friends, so we must be doing something right. keep up the mommy fail… I happen to think you rock.
Heather, I’m sorry that you lost time with your daughter from cancer- I would over indulge too. I over indulge Pea because I’ve had two miscarriages since having her and clearly can’t make another baby. So, she’s my miracle, my angel and I spoil her because I love her and she’s a blessing. I love your parenting advice- don’t give any. To each his own. I may have to start giving that parenting advice too.
Well you know mine…apparently TWO is too old to have a damn pacifier.
But I also hand Ed crap I just said no about because he is driving me bat shit crazy, I let him watch OODLES of tv just so he isn’t constantly talking to me, and I give him candy as rewards for EVERYTHING.
Yup. My name is Katie. And I’m a bad mom. A bad mother effing mom, that is.
Katie´s last [type] ..Posts that Make Me Go BOOM {6}
Yes, you are a bad motha-effin mom. BOOM!