I was on the interstate, which… some days I take it and some days I don’t.
I look up and I see some dude standing on an overpass above the interstate and I think “What the fuck…? What’s this dude doing?”
I promise it was by the grace of God that I knew that turd was gonna do something stupid.
He reaches into his black backpack and takes out a plastic bottle which he then proceeds to drop down into traffic on the interstate.
WHAT THE FUCK?!
And whose car was in the way? Mine!
I take a super quick look over my left shoulder, swerve into the left lane and quickly swerve back into my fuckin lane so I don’t get hit by all the ppl coming at me at 75+ miles an hour.
FUCKING JACKASS
That was all I could think.
What the hell?
Who does that?
(And really the answer is lots of dipwads… I’ve heard so many news stories about people dropping shit onto the interstate from an overpass- including bricks)
And then I’m like what if I didn’t see him? What if I didn’t swerve in time and…
HOLY. SHIT.
Cue inner dialogue:
That fuckin bottle clipped my car.
Did this mofo just dent my car?
My new (to me) beautiful, I’m so in love with it car?
Now I’m mad.
Cause I swear if I get outta this car at work and there’s a dent I am going to flip!
Absa-fuckin’-lutely flip.
I’m calling Chris. Cause this is some bullshit right here.
I coulda fuckin died.
I coulda had my windshield cracked and dammit I just paid for a new fuckin windshield.
And seriously? Who the FUCK DOES THAT?!?!
**End Inner Dialogue**
I call my husband and he’s all like “honey, you need to call the cops.”
And tell them what babe? That a white man in a black jacket with a black backpack who was walking on the overpass dropped a bottle down to the interstate? They aren’t gonna find this dude.
“Well, sure they could babe, especially if he’s still out there walking around”
Honey, it was right by downtown. There’s probably hundreds of people walking around. And seriously? White man? Black jacket? There’s 800 million (totally exaggerating) white men in Colorado- they are not gonna find this dude.
“Did you know that one time in Omaha some kids dropped a brick from an overpass onto the interstate and they killed someone and got arrested?”
Right. I’m alive (thank God) and I think the cops will laugh at me thinking I’m sending them on some wild goose chase for a white dude in a black coat.
“Sorry babe. I’m glad you’re okay. Did it hit the car? What kind of bottle was it?”
Hell. Fuckin. Yes. It hit my car and if I have a dent?!?! Mothafucka!
It was a plastic bottle. Stupid asshole. Why would he do that?!?
And this went on for about 10 minutes until he calmed me down enough to go to work.
Moral of the story? Don’t drop shit from the overpass onto the internet.
Cause only douchebags do that.
And I hate douchebags.
Fuckin turd.
/End Rant… Carry on with your day.
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Assholes do that. And there are just so very many of them that we can’t always know which asshole is gonna be super assholey that day. Luck of the draw. I’m glad you’re ok. (Whispering: was there a dent?)
Little boys threw a rock/piece of brick/cement at our car last summer. It hit the windshield on the passenger side and cracked it. I thought we’d been shot at. All I could imagine was what if we’d been going a little faster and it’d hit the back window which is thinner? It would have certainly come through. It would have likely hit one of my kids. My kids. You little motherfuckers. I have anxiety hot flashes and underarm itch every time we pass that park now. I could have let my husband get out and chase them, but then what? There’s no telling how THAT would have ended. Douchebags. They live among us.
Arnebya´s last [type] ..Wordful Wednesday: Good Endings to Pretty Ungood Beginnings
Girl, with my husband’s temper I think if someone threw some mess at our car he woulda stepped on the brakes faster than fast, got outta the car and had some words with them teens. See, it’s loser kids like that who grow up to be douchebags who throw shit off of an overpass. SMH
I SWEAR there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with people who do stuff like that! Too bad there wasn’t a passing helicopter who SAW that jackass & dropped a HEAVY bottle on HIS freakin’ head! GRRRRRRR! P.S. I see my most recent blog post is showing up beneath this comment. I PROMISE – I DO know how to spell. That’s what my post ia about. LOL! (Don’t you just love how I added a disclaimer to my comment?)
Kai Naconi´s last [type] ..I DEFINATELY DON’T KNOW WEATHER I LIKE READING BETTER THEN BLOGGING
Oh no he didn’t! Who does that? All kidding aside.. very glad you’re okay and that it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. Save for virtual heart attack and all.
Oh no he di-int is right. Who did he think he was? Loser.
DUDE! WHO DOES THAT???
Seriously screw the mo fo’s.
Katie´s last [type] ..baby rut
Right? Who. Does. That.