Mommy, What Color Am I?

This is what my three year old asked me out of the blue.

Have you met Pea? She’s amazing.


She’s a great shade of light brown.

But that question? Threw me off guard.

You’re three. Where did that question come from?

In her own words she says that Mommy is brown and Daddy is white, but “Mommy, what color am I?”

Uh… Uh…Uhm…

I guess we weren’t prepared to have this conversation with her yet.

The husband and I were like uhh you’re like caramel. Kind of like a vanilla latte. (As if she knows what a latte is)

So I Google Imaged “latte”, showed her a bunch of pictures and her Daddy and I talked about when brown and white come together they make different kinds of light brown. Tan, Caramel, latte- any of those can be acceptable forms of her skin color.

We talked about the fact that God made her like that and she’s perfect just the way she is, but she doesn’t really get that too much yet either. (Sometimes we talk about Jesus watching her and that kinda freaks her out- “I don’t like Jesus watching me Mom, where is He?“)

We don’t want her to think she’s just brown or just white, because sometimes she says that she’s “white like Daddy,” and we correct her and tell her she’s both. Cause she’s not white. But she’s not black.

She’s just amazing.

How would you handle that talk with a toddler?

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11 thoughts on “Mommy, What Color Am I?

  1. your daughter is so beautiful! i think o=you did a great job explaining her color, it doesn’t seem like you made a huge deal out of it, which seems like the right way to go, at least at this age.

  2. She is so cute! I loved how you answered her question. I am too a daughter of a white father and a black mother and had questions about my skin color while growing up. I wished my mother could had answered my questions as you answered your daughter’s.

  3. WOW!!!! Your daughter is absolutely beautiful! What a sweet lil’ face!!! Though we have always lived as Native Americans, both my daughter’s dad & I are technically mixed. My daughter was DARK when she was younger. She is still distinctly Comanche-featured, but not quite as dark now that she’s aged. Her skin color was not an issue (to her) because her best friend in elementary school said, “You’re LUCKY! My mom has to sit out in the sun ALL the time to get dark but she just gets RED. You’re already brown like SHE wants to be!” (Bless you for that Tonya, wherever you are!) You gave her daughter a MARVELOUS answer! Hugs to you this morning!

  4. I will second what Katie said and say I think you explained this perfectly! Darling Girl asks me why she has blue eyes and mama has hazel (or one of a thousand other why does this person have this or that when another person has something else) and I always explain that it’s the way God made us all different because we would be so boring if we all looked the same. I also tell her that she gets a little bit of stuff like Daddy and a little bit of stuff like Mama to make her all her own person. She likes that.
    Amy´s last blog post ..March 5-11: #MarchPhotoADay

  5. dude. I think you explained it so well. And really, we are all different shades of awesome. That is what I am going to tell Eddie and Charlie if they ask about their cousins or their aunt or anyone (since we have a rainbow of color in our family!).

    God makes us all a shade of awesome. Because even white people aren’t all the same shade of white, ya know? I mean, I am PALE, but my Italian-blood SIL is “brown Ashely” to my nephew.

    Hmm. this is such a great topic!
    Katie´s last blog post ..Posts That Make me Go BOOM! {10}

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