First order of business- I don’t ever blog about work… and I probably never will unless it’s a good day. But this has been an interesting school year. It has been full of stress, tears, amazing test scores for my kids, successes, failures and everything in between. I want you all to know that after much deliberation and two years I have decided to move on from my current school and have turned in my letter of resignation.
Risky?
Yes?
But. I’ve been diligently applying for new jobs, gotten four solid letters of recommendation and praying like nobody’s business. I ask for your prayers/well-wishes as well because i do need to work, but what I need more than that is to work in a place where I can:
a. reach children in the manner that I know I’m capable of
b. grow as a professional educator
c. work. really work. and not in fear
Second- There’s been a lot of stuff going on in my extended family. I feel like I’m learning something new every day about myself and my family. I have so much other stuff going on in my life, though, that I really need to learn to separate their shit from my shit. Seriously. Because I’ve been letting it annoy me and I’ve been carrying on about things knowing that nothing will change or be different. you know why? Because people don’t change. (Unless they want to) So, I digress.
Third- My husband and I have tried for 2 years, unsuccessfully to add to our family of three. There was the miscarriage in 2010 and then the miscarriage in 2011. I was told that “God knows best” and that maybe I wasn’t meant to have any more children by some and other non-consoling things. I think it’s important to state a few things- the decision to have a child (or another child) lies with the parents alone, not with extended family or friends. Second, regardless of opinion, respecting people’s decisions is so important. Third, and most important to me is that the heart wants what the heart wants. And? My heart wants to be a mother. I’m not the best at the job (I mean, who is?) but I do love the job. Also? I love having siblings. They are annoying and funny and loving and pains in my ass. It’s great. And my husband never really liked being an only child, so we knew that Pea would not be an only child. Easy decision.
With that being said after much pain and strife, I am over-the-moon happy to announce that we are in our second trimester of a healthy, viable pregnancy (Thank you, Jesus). It’s been filled with hormones and other drugs and nerves, but all is well in the womb.
Fourth- I’ve always been vocal about my hatred for my husband’s dog. He told me that because I wasn’t raised with a dog in the house all the time like he is, I probably don’t feel the same bond that he does with the dog. Fair enough. I gave my husband an ultimatum. I have never thought of myself as the ultimatum type, but I pretty much told him it’s me or the dog… (but not really, cause where the heck am I going? But I thought I’d scare him enough to get rid of that thing) and it worked. He found someone he knew to take the dog. Then? I started having wifey-remorse. Is it mean of me to force my husband to get rid of the dog that he loves so much? Probably. And? Pea loves the dog too. Really? The dog is a hit with everyone but me. So, I thought I was going to announce that our home would be dog-free, but I’ve decided to tuck my bitchiness away and let him keep the dog. I mean, he’ll die soon, right? (Kidding. Sort of. But not really.)
The Union is doing well. We are troopers. Shit hits the fan, we wipe the shit off and keep it movin’.
We feel amazingly blessed with the chance to bring another child into this world and I feel confident in my ability to find a job. Is there a back up plan? Of course. I will sub my face off if I don’t get a full time teaching gig. The great thing about teachers? Someone is always absent, therefore, subs are always needed. Perfect example? Today? My school district ran out of substitutes (where does that happen at?!?). I can also tutor, continue to freelance write and just do what I need to do to make it happen. I am more prepared for this than I was in California mainly because:
a. I am certified to teach in this state (which means that)
b. becoming a sub will be a cinch.
I am feeling encouraged about the days, weeks and months ahead. I know the husband does too.
Oh, and God bless the United States of America. 
Come on…don’t copy- get your own material. Nobody likes a cheater! Original & Hand Written Plagiarism Will Be Detected. This site is being monitored by CopyGator. Mmkay? Thanks.
Congratulations! So happy for you and the family! (I had a feeling there was a bun in the oven when you were posting about how tired you were
).
Hoping that the rest of your pregnancy is smooth and uneventful! What a lucky child to have parents and a sister as wonderful as you guys.
Thanks Mel.
Huge congrats on the baby!! I can so relate, I only could have the one (who is now almost 33) Go where your heart tells you to go!
I am so excited for you.
So excited.
So many changes but they are full of positivity. Love that.
Never stop chasing your heart.
Xoxo
Kimberly´s last [type] ..There’s Nothing That I Wouldn’t Do…Except Oprah…Unless The Lights Were Off
Thanks, Kim. You’re the best.
You will find a job for you. I have faith. Every job has its ups and downs-that is for sure. As I travel into new lands next year teaching K and not 1st–I am terrified. I go hoping that I can be a child’s favorite teacher as my Kindergarten teacher was to me. I am so happy there will be another little “you” around. I want to send gifts, wishes and love. Just wish I were around the corner to bring dinner and a 12 pack of Budlight as I did when Pea was born. XOXO and PLEASE take care of yourself!
XOXOXOXOXOX
I love you Jill. Always, always, always!
Congrats hon. May God’s blessings be on you and I know your pregnancy will be a success. Screw the naysayers, do you. Love you always.
I can’t possibly congratulate you enough. I’ve never had the difficulty you’ve experienced in getting pregnant, but I know the sting of miscarriage. So, so happy for you! I’ve always wanted to teach jr high, high school, or college level English or writing. I thought long and hard this year about becoming a classroom teacher but it boils down to: 1) I ain’t gonna pass the math portion of the PRAXIS unless somebody who can add and doesn’t think fractions are trying to smother her goes in and pretends to be me; 2) I despise lesson plans – can’t we just sit and read, then write about and discuss what we read; 3) I don’t feel like going back to school for classes in education. I have a Master’s. If I go back, I’m going for a PhD; and 4) I have NO clue how I’d have handled that little boy (much like the 6 yr old handcuffed for a tantrum recently; what do you do in that situation when instinct says knock his ass out and knock her down running around ripping shit off walls. Smack the mama, something (and now I’m giggling b/c I don’t hit my own kids but it appears as though in certain situations I might not mind going off on someone else’s hmmm). I even thought of subbing, but up here, w/out a license, subs only make like $20/day.
And you’re right; it’s no one’s business but yours and your husband’s when you choose to extend your family. I know damn well if we go for four I ain’t telling nobody until “I have an ulcer” just doesn’t cut the size of my stomach anymore. I love having siblings and I seriously always imagined myself with a huge family. If we go for it, we will be looked at like the crazies that we are, but it’s no one’s business but ours (unless we need a sitter, ha!).
Again, congrats on the changes ahead. Pea is gonna love being a big sister.
Arnebya´s last [type] ..Before You Call the People, My Baby Does Eat
Most importantly, I am SO HAPPY for you & your husband (and Pea, of course!) Congratulations on being in your second trimester & I’m sending good thoughts for your new lil’ sweetheart! Second, teaching. More to the point, NOT teaching in a place where you feel no one is HEARING you. I taught at one school for 22 years before I moved and secured a position at a different elementary. HOLY LUNACY, BATMAN! That school was a teaching nightmare. I don’t KNOW why I even USED the word teaching because there was so little of it going on. Open squabbling among staff right in front of the students horrified me. And discipline? HA! The kids were totally out of control. A 3rd grade boy (who, by the way, was 11 because he’d been held back 3 times – I didn’t even think that was ALLOWED) literally destroyed a little first grade girl’s life by attempting to rape her after school. I said ATTEMPTING because when one of the teachers happened upon him out by a temporary building, he was on top of her and had hit her HARD to stop her from screaming. To this DAY the little girl still hasn’t spoken. I know because I am still in touch with her family. It was a NUTHOUSE, that place. The final straw for me was when I took my class to the library one morning, I saw a kindergarten class lining up to leave. I noticed a boy who really resembled one of MY (worst) students & I casually waved. He openly glared. I walked over to him and asked, “Aren’t you Jeremiah, Panama’s little brother?” He gave me the MOST chilling look I’ve ever received & answered, “Bitch, you can call me SnakeEyes.” Instead of discipling him, and telling the other laughing kids to settle down, his teacher asked ME, “Why are you over here with my kids?” I did not finish the school year. That was LITERALLY my last DAY of teaching. Anyway, I am wishing you well on your job search because I wish for YOU the same WONDERFUL teaching experience I had my FIRST 22 years in a classroom! Take care! (And hug that Sweet Pea for me!) P.S. Dogs. Ugh. I’m SO not a dog person.
Kai Naconi´s last [type] ..MY DEAR FRIEND SANDY
Kai. Thank you. It was a really hard choice because we need to work, right? But I refuse to work in a place such as this. At some point, you have to walk away and I really need to do that for my sanity. Seriously. I am not myself when I’m there because I’m just on edge 24/7. It’s not healthy at all. I love teaching, but it really is time to move on. I know I’m great at what I do, I just hope another school will see that too… Even though I’m pregnant.
And holy shit about the Kindergarten kid. Who? What? I would have been absolutely beside myself. That’s madness.