First order of business- I don’t ever blog about work… and I probably never will unless it’s a good day. But this has been an interesting school year. It has been full of stress, tears, amazing test scores for my kids, successes, failures and everything in between. I want you all to know that after much deliberation and two years I have decided to move on from my current school and have turned in my letter of resignation.
But. I’ve been diligently applying for new jobs, gotten four solid letters of recommendation and praying like nobody’s business. I ask for your prayers/well-wishes as well because i do need to work, but what I need more than that is to work in a place where I can:
a. reach children in the manner that I know I’m capable of
b. grow as a professional educator
c. work. really work. and not in fear
Second- There’s been a lot of stuff going on in my extended family. I feel like I’m learning something new every day about myself and my family. I have so much other stuff going on in my life, though, that I really need to learn to separate their shit from my shit. Seriously. Because I’ve been letting it annoy me and I’ve been carrying on about things knowing that nothing will change or be different. you know why? Because people don’t change. (Unless they want to) So, I digress.
Third- My husband and I have tried for 2 years, unsuccessfully to add to our family of three. There was the miscarriage in 2010 and then the miscarriage in 2011. I was told that “God knows best” and that maybe I wasn’t meant to have any more children by some and other non-consoling things. I think it’s important to state a few things- the decision to have a child (or another child) lies with the parents alone, not with extended family or friends. Second, regardless of opinion, respecting people’s decisions is so important. Third, and most important to me is that the heart wants what the heart wants. And? My heart wants to be a mother. I’m not the best at the job (I mean, who is?) but I do love the job. Also? I love having siblings. They are annoying and funny and loving and pains in my ass. It’s great. And my husband never really liked being an only child, so we knew that Pea would not be an only child. Easy decision.
With that being said after much pain and strife, I am over-the-moon happy to announce that we are in our second trimester of a healthy, viable pregnancy (Thank you, Jesus). It’s been filled with hormones and other drugs and nerves, but all is well in the womb.
Fourth- I’ve always been vocal about my hatred for my husband’s dog. He told me that because I wasn’t raised with a dog in the house all the time like he is, I probably don’t feel the same bond that he does with the dog. Fair enough. I gave my husband an ultimatum. I have never thought of myself as the ultimatum type, but I pretty much told him it’s me or the dog… (but not really, cause where the heck am I going? But I thought I’d scare him enough to get rid of that thing) and it worked. He found someone he knew to take the dog. Then? I started having wifey-remorse. Is it mean of me to force my husband to get rid of the dog that he loves so much? Probably. And? Pea loves the dog too. Really? The dog is a hit with everyone but me. So, I thought I was going to announce that our home would be dog-free, but I’ve decided to tuck my bitchiness away and let him keep the dog. I mean, he’ll die soon, right? (Kidding. Sort of. But not really.)
The Union is doing well. We are troopers. Shit hits the fan, we wipe the shit off and keep it movin’.
We feel amazingly blessed with the chance to bring another child into this world and I feel confident in my ability to find a job. Is there a back up plan? Of course. I will sub my face off if I don’t get a full time teaching gig. The great thing about teachers? Someone is always absent, therefore, subs are always needed. Perfect example? Today? My school district ran out of substitutes (where does that happen at?!?). I can also tutor, continue to freelance write and just do what I need to do to make it happen. I am more prepared for this than I was in California mainly because:
a. I am certified to teach in this state (which means that)
b. becoming a sub will be a cinch.
I am feeling encouraged about the days, weeks and months ahead. I know the husband does too.
Oh, and God bless the United States of America.
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