Gee, mom, you sure have big boobies.

Me: Uhh. That’s cause Mommy is pregnant. 

Mom, when do I get to have big boobies?

When you’re a grown-up.

——————–

I’ve told y’all that Pea is a morning person.

I enjoy my quiet time with a nice, hot shower first thing in the morning.

Sometimes, though, when she wakes up extremely early- she’ll just let herself into the bathroom (and somehow it’s always just as I step out of the shower) and launch into conversation with me.

People- I’m not awake yet. And? I’m naked.

——————-

Here we go:

Mom, are you using the toilet?

Yes.

But I need to use the toilet too.

Well, you have your own bathroom, you can go and use that one. 

But I want to use Mommy and Daddy’s toilet.

Okay.

Mom, that’s Daddy’s sink! That’s not your sink!

Okay, but sometimes Mommy and Daddy share sinks. 

But Mom! You need to use your own sink!

Okay. But I’m sharing with Dad. 

Mom? Is sharing caring?

Yes.

Mom are those your panties?

Yep.

Mom, do girls wear panties and boys wear underwear?

Uhh. For the most part, that’s how it goes. 

Mom? Why did you get new toothpaste?

Because I needed it.

But I have my own toothpaste.

Yes you do. 

Mom? What button do you press to turn on your toothbrush?

I don’t have a button on my toothbrush, only Daddy does. 

Mom? Is that yours? (Pointing to my deodorant)

Yes.

And is that Daddy’s? (Pointing to her dad’s deodorant)

Yes.

————————

These questions come like rapid fire. How in the hell she comes up with them so quickly is beyond me.

At 6 am.

It’s rough out there y’all. I can’t even get ready for work in peace some days.

And my brain… my coffee-free brain can’t handle all of the questions, but I think I do a good job answering them given the circumstances. I haven’t run her off yet and sent her off to wake her dad and bombard him with questions. Mostly because I know he gets his fair share as he gets her dressed and combs her hair and ushers her off to school.

I guess when she’s a teenager and doesn’t want to talk to me at all, I’ll miss these days.

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