So it was demanded that I “get back to blogging” yesterday.

I’m sorry! Work. Is. Insane. With the new Common Core Curriculum and a new school- there’s a lot of “new” things to learn.

I wasn’t blogging when I was pregnant with Pea… if I did it would have been nothing but complaining. I was sick to my stomach the whole time and the whole pregnancy experience was so unexpected to me and I found myself saying “nobody told me…” a lot of the time.

Anyway, I’ve been collecting this list of things no one told me in my head for a while, so I’ll post (hopefully) each week.

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One day, fresh out of the shower, I let my robe fall to the floor and I almost died out of horror. I am very good about keeping my eyebrows waxed/plucked, but for the love of God when I was no longer able to see below my belly, clearly I forgot that there were things to be shaved down there also.

It’s like a scene out of Where The Wild Things Are. I swear it.

I opened the door and shouted at my husband- “How could you let it get so out of hand down there?!”

Of course he had no idea what the heck I was talking about and I’m sure he had no idea that he was the keeper of my body hairs. But, duh! If I can’t see ‘em, then, yes! It is your job.

Friends, my aesthetician is going to be in hell on the day I walk in to get all cleaned up pre-baby birth.

I do remember growing massive amounts of hair on my legs when I was pregnant with Pea.

Now, friends, I don’t shave my legs often. I think the first time I shaved my legs was sophomore year of college when we went to cheerleading nationals at Disney World… it seemed like the right thing to do as the lead flyer. Leg shaving is not my priority. I do it when I can see my leg hairs, which is rarely.

Shaving when pregnant though has become task. I think I shave my underarms every two days. Now, if it was winter this wouldn’t be a problem because no one would have to see my underarms but me. Alas, it’s still summer-like and so in order to spare the public from the hair in my pits and to save myself  from having sweaty, hairy underarms… I shave there often.

Shaving my legs?

Task.

Since we don’t have a step in our shower to put my foot on, bending all the way over to shave my legs has proven to be dangerous- it creates an imbalance and I am often afraid that I may tip over.

No one told me that I wouldn’t really be able to bend over.

No one told me about the body parts that would be neglected because of my inability to see them anymore.

The baby belly is really prohibiting my line of vision.

I plan to spare my doctors and nurses the agony of searching through the jungle in order to find the baby when he’s ready to come. My aesthetician, bless her little heart, can fix that in one session. My plan is to go at the beginning of October. Maybe the trauma of having my hair ripped off will send me into labor and he’ll come a week or two early. Or.. maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

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