I wasn’t really planning on having one, but my few friends that I do have here thought that I should.

There was a friend that volunteered to let me use her house; she wanted to throw one for me.

I was still kind of hesitant.

I mean, I don’t really have any friends here- who the heck is gonna come?

I didn’t register. I wasn’t planning on it. Who the heck was gonna buy me anything?

I could hold my breath waiting for my family to buy me anything and again, my friend base is minimal.

I just expected that whatever he needed, we would buy on our own- and that’s cool. It was our choice to have another one anyway.

I gave in.

I registered.

I invited.

I Pinterest-ed. (New word, don’t hate)

And I kinda got excited.

You know, not so much for the presents, but for a chance to hang out with friends and celebrate his presence.

No one was RSVPing. It was my worst nightmare for this party realized.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Five RSVPs.

This shit is gonna be a flop.

No one is coming.

I should cancel.

And then…

I can’t come anymore.

I can’t stay long.

Okay. Three people will be there.

Yeah. We’re gonna cancel.

And delete the registries.

And pretend that this embarrassing, sad party was never even a thought.

It really wasn’t about the gifts.

I honestly never expected anyone to get anything.

Not anyone here.

And definitely not family.

So deleting it…

Wasn’t a big deal.

Though it did make me miss Jill. And Val. And Marion. And Dev.

Cause this? Would’ve never happened in Florida.

So this morning at 6 a.m. I bid adieu to the party that wasn’t.

And pretended that I never tried to have a baby sprinkle (shower, whatever).

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