I’ve been really feelin’ the pressure this year of being a mom to a toddler, pregnant woman, wife and a teacher.
Shit is rough, yo.
And just to solidify that I’m not actually going effin insane. Two teacher friends of mine confirmed that on Facebook.
Now, I have undergone some major changes at work this year. I’m in a new school district and a new school. That means new procedures, rules, technology, different progress monitoring requirements, different types of parents, etc. This district is very demanding in a different way than my other district was demanding. And really, I think it’s just because I’m new. I’m sure next year (or at least I hope) I won’t feel like I’m drowning.
Oh, and let’s not forget the new Common Core Curriculum that all but 3 states have adopted. You know what this means? Lots of professional development training, lots of re-configuring and discussions about “what works” and how to “make things fit” with said new curriculum.
At the end of my pregnancy rope. When my body has completely given in to the pregnancy and everything below my growing belly hurts. When report cards are due (which I submitted on time- woot!) and parent-teacher conferences are this coming week.
Not to mention, I am leaving notes for my long-term sub. I pulled out a blank spiral notebook and just started writing stuff. I then realized? That I am extremely anal. I am leaving a list of my pet-peeves so she knows what I’m looking for when I return.
- if she’s going to give out my take it to your seat centers during small group reading & writing, I need her to stress to the children that they need to check the floor for itty bitty center pieces when they are done. It took me for-ever to make said centers (because I’m too cheap to spend my measly $100 classroom budget on them) and I’d like to not have to re-make any or stop using them because they are missing pieces.
- I am territorial about the books in my classroom library. I built those books up either with my own money or Scholastic Book Club points. The kids cannot take those books home. They are to stay in the classroom and if they can’t treat them well (i.e. no bending pages/covers or tearing pages/covers) then they lose their classroom library privileges.
- I like things in order. So I hope she knows how to keep my teacher’s manuals and blackline masters worksheets in order. When I inherited this classroom, it was a hot mess and I had to reorganize all of the worksheets so that I could find things easily. This is not something that I want to do again.
- I need her to keep up with grading and do it in the same manner that I do because when I come back, I’m going to have to do report cards and I don’t want to have to decipher her grading style.
I realized this week how hard it is going to be to relinquish power of my classroom to someone else. My last long term sub (when I was pregnant with Pea) was amazing. I had worked with him when my other teammate was out pregnant, so I knew that he knew exactly what he was doing and how to be a team player. I don’t know this woman and it makes me nervous. I told my fears to Facebook. Other teacher friends concurred. Which, again, solidified the fact that I am not losing my mind- even though it seems like I am.
It’s hard work taking care of over 20 kids during the day and the paperwork that comes along with that. Then to turn around and be 100% for your own child, who is in the midst of her “I’m going to ask you questions that I already know the answer to cause I feel like it” phase, be present for your husband and still find time for yourself. Oh, and sleep. It’s always nice to sleep (I don’t do that often).
I see lots of my teacher-mommy (and daddy) friends feeling that exhaustion too. Is it just this school year? Or is it always like this and I just didn’t realize it til now?
I could go on all night about this, but I won’t.
I do want to leave you with this post ever-so aptly titled “The Exhaustion of the American Teacher.”
My friend Katie posted it just as I was typing this.
It’s not just teachers that are parents that are overwhelmed and tired. I need to make sure I say that.
All teachers (that I know of) are exhausted, overwhelmed, doing so much but yet still not doing enough.
I don’t care what anyone says.
And I digress.
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