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Open Letter to My Sister On Her Birthday

Dear Nicole,

I’m not sure if it was fate that you and I were born exactly two weeks apart- to the day. And that even though we are not “really” sisters, we grew up like we were. We played together, spent the night together, went to the same elementary school and spent almost every waking hour together growing up all the way through high school.

We always joke about the most annoying part of growing up being us having to explain to people how we were related. To which our response would either be “none of your business” or we’d try to give the abridged version of our lineage.

For those who don’t know… Once upon a time, my mother got married- had 2 kids- then got divorced. That man that she divorced is your father, so you and I share the same older brother and sister. And because our families are the way they are, there was never any separation between my side and your side. It is really the epitome of the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child.” I could get a spanking from your parents just as quickly as you could get one from mine.

And boy, did we get in trouble. You were so much more adventurous than I was and because I didn’t want to seem like a punk, I went along with whatever you (and Dana) thought we should do. I thank you for that. You made me a bit more bold. While I was so afraid of getting in trouble, you were more of the “ask for forgiveness later” type of person. There were many spankings and punishments, but they were always WELL worth it.

You have always been so much more of a sister to me than my “real” sisters were or ever will be. That’s just the truth. You looked out for me growing up. I never, ever had to use my fists because I think people knew that you were a little crazy and you’d fuck somebody up for me. I always kinda felt like a pussy cause I never got in a fight, but then again, I felt kinda cool because people were terrified of my siblings- especially you- the unpredictable one.

You have always had my back. You have always supported every choice and move that I have made. Not once have you shamed me for wanting to move out of Brooklyn- leave New York City and do something else with myself. You understood my need to get away from our family and you knew that education was my only ticket out of the city.

You always tell me things first. That makes me feel so special, needed, important- whatever. Holding your secrets can be hard, though, but I always do because that’s the bond we have. I knew that you were pregnant first- both times- and when everyone else started calling saying “did you know?” I got to play it off with a “no, really?

And you know that you can always call me when you need me. When the boys were young, whatever you needed help with, I made sure I chipped in. Not because I expected something in return, but because you are my sister and you should never want for anything as long as I can help. You have more than returned the favors. I’ve needed you so much in the past 4 years and you have never paused or thought about it. You always say yes.

You are my rock. I know that I can call you whenever, tell you whatever- and expect the truth in return. You always tell me the truth. Whether I want to hear it or not. And not the clouded, biased “this is what I think, so it’s obviously right” truth like so many people in our family like to do. No- you tell me the truth. Sometimes, it’s the hard truth and you never force me to budge one way or the other. You respect my choices, as I always have yours in the past. I think the sign of a true relationship is the ability to say “I think it’s dumb what your doing” or “No, I don’t really agree, but…”

I am not really close with any of our other sisters. I’m glad that I have you. I don’t know the depth of anyone else’s relationship with their sister, but I am always so glad that I have a sister that I can call my friend too. I miss being around you 24/7, but our relationship has never once faltered. We’ve never (knock on wood) had a fight that I can remember in our almost 30 years on this earth and I want to keep it that way.

Honesty, Trust and Love.

We have that.

I’m hoping that you find that moving forward in a guy (who has to pass my test first) who you can make your forever partner. Whatever you choose, I’m behind you 100%.

I am beyond excited to start this next chapter in my life with the new baby and to share it with you.

But today, is about you. So, Happy Birthday. I hope that your day is everything that you want and more.

Love,

Dee

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