I’m not sure what it was, but I felt… off.
I pushed through the day with my students and let them know that I wasn’t feeling all that great, but I was there to be their teacher and I was gonna do my best.
I had a massive, ridiculous headache. Nausea. Shakes. Random aches and pains. It was weird. I don’t really get sick often, but this punch in the face? Kinda took me out.
I’ve been pushing myself lately. I stayed up til past midnight on Monday doing stuff for work, only to wake up at 5:45 and do it all over again. Things are crazy at work. We’re implementing lots of new things that we need to learn, master and do.
Part of me feels like my body was telling me that I’m doing too much. Because in the back of my mind, I know I’m doing too much. I leave work at about 4:20 so that I can get C.J. by 4:30, but I could stay at work til 6 pm and still not have everything that I need done- done. Such is the life of a teacher, though.
I am confident that I’m doing great things this year, though, and that makes me happy.
I took a sick day today, which I never, ever do. I’m the teacher who has almost all of her sick and personal days still in tact at the end of the year. I took both kids to the doctor and now? I’m sitting on my sofa, feeling a bit lightheaded and nauseous, watching tv (and typing this).
In other news, I have been feeling lately like I’m ready to be done nursing.
My little guy had his 9 month check up today. He’s 23.8 pounds- in the 91st percentile for weight. He is a healthy boy- all off of my milk.
You guys. I’m so proud of myself for that. I have grown a 23 pound human!!
Sometimes. I can be a quitter. Mostly when it comes to stuff like working out and eating healthy- I’ll start, then be done.
But I have nursed this boy like a champ for 10 months. I gave up eggs and dairy when we got his allergy test results and not only has his eczema gotten way better, I’ve lost 10 pounds and I feel great. So I can thank him for that.
He and I are close. I mean, literally. Cause he loves to eat and really- he loves milk.
It’s no longer enjoyable, it really feels like a task that I need to do. Maybe it’s because of how busy I am and how much I need to do. Or maybe it’s because I would like to sleep at night- all night and not have to relinquish my body to someone every 3-5 hours.
I’m still okay to do it and I don’t loathe it. I’m not like “ugggghhhh, I need to go nurse him,” but I think I’m just all done doing it- if that makes sense.
And I know that it doesn’t make me selfish or a bad mom and I’m hoping the breastfeeding nazis don’t come get me with signs and shouting “just a few more months! just a few more months!”
I don’t know how to wean. Pea was over breastfeeding the day it started, so I didn’t have to wean her. She did it herself. Since C.J. is such a champ at nursing, I’m worried about how this process is gonna go.
I’m not sure when I’ll start, but I did leave the doctor’s office today with samples of soy formula. In 2 months, he’ll be able to switch to soy milk or almond milk and hopefully he’ll grow out of this milk allergy. (My boy is gonna be 1 in two months- whaaat?!?)
But for now, I think I’m ready for a change… I think if I start nursing, I’ll have my body back and then I can take the time to take care of myself.
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