I was too tired to go back up.
He’s cutting the two big teeth on the top and it’s not going so well for me. This means that he’s up at 1 am crying… or screaming, I can’t really decipher between the two anymore. I try to calm him down and get him back to bed without nursing him and after an extended, yet unsuccessful attempt, I end up taking him down to the living room and turning on Baby First TV. He likes the nighttime show that they have- it’s just lots of bright colors and pictures and it makes him quiet. Then, we end up being up til 3 am because I’m sure I’ve effed up his internal clock somehow and he thinks it’s time to be awake. Then, my phone vibrates at 5:45 indicating it’s time to get up for work.
I’m writing this when really I should be reading two articles on digital natives for my the class that I’m taking for my Master’s in Educational Technology, but as I was reading the articles I thought “can I do it all?” and then I came here.
I feel like somehow, I always come back to the same question. The question of me wondering if I am doing too much, maybe being overambitious about what is realistic for me to accomplish.
Grad School, Work, Freelancing (which, I am sucking at right now- sorry Lauren!), Kids, Wife, Paying Bills, blah blah blah- you know, normal grown-up stuff that I’m sure all of you deal with every day. Hopefully, you all handle it with way more grace and some sense of normalcy. In other words, you probably do a better job at life than I do.
I think part of the problem is that I am lacking true time management skills. Everything blends into the other thing and I’m just kind of on auto-pilot. I do things as I remember them and if someone reminds me to do something that I have forgotten, then that thing becomes a priority and everything else falls beneath it. I am a time management disaster, really and I can admit that.
I think about Kate’s color-coded Excel spreadsheet and wonder if I need to do something like that. Put my life into boxes so that I have a specific time to do each and every thing. I wonder if I’d actually get shit done in a timely fashion when I do that.
I always think back to this planner that I carried with me everywhere when we were planning the wedding. How I had every. single. thing. on. Earth. written down in that planner and how I ‘x’ed stuff of when it got done and how things actually got done. How was I able to plan an entire wedding and yet now? If you were to buy me a planner? I’m pretty sure it would just sit and collect dust somewhere.
I’m not quite sure when I became a big ball of organized chaos, but that’s who I am now. I totally embrace it and make jokes about it at work when people come in and see my piles, but really it’s like my Achilles’ heel… my dirty little secret.
Are you super organized in your day-to-day life or are you like me? You get things done, but it seems like you take the path least traveled to get them done- so everything is harder than necessary.
Any tips for me? Cause I’m all ears.
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