Five Reasons Why You Suck at Being a Dog Owner: A Rant

I don’t like dogs.

I mean, seriously, I don’t.

More specifically, I probably don’t like your dog.

Oh, and have you seen my gorgeous dog?

photo

 

He’s 8 years old this June.

He can sit, shake, semi-roll-over, play dead and fart like nobody’s business.

Oh… and he doesn’t bark.

I mean, almost never.

Your asshole dog, though, does.

And it’s annoying.

That’s kind of one of the reasons you suck at owning dogs.

1. You let your dog stay outside and bark incessantly- disturbing all of those who have the poor fortune of living around you.

1a. You make dumb ass excuses to your neighbors for your dogs incessant barking. You know, excuses like “Oh, she’s not  mean, she’s just vocal.”

Uh

2. Putting your dog on a stake outside on a retractable leash is not walking your dog.

Your dog is not a cat that can go roam the neighborhood on its own. Which, don’t get me started on random cats in the neighborhood. Your dog needs to be walked. Your dog would probably like to go to the dog park every once in a while. Being a dog owner meant that you promised to keep your furry friend active.

Image from Franks Online Pets

2a. Putting your dog on a retractable leash means that your dog gets into my yard and gets to bark even closer to my back door…

Thanks.

3. You set out for a walk with your dog and don’t bring poop bags.

What? You just imagined that you’d let your dog out after being home alone all day and there’d be no poop? Or were you hoping that you’d go out and your dog would poop and you could do it without anyone seeing you?

I’m the girl that happens to step in dog poop all of the time. Just for good measure.

You make me sick.

PICK UP YOUR DOG’S SHIT

4. Letting your dog ride in the bed of your pickup truck isn’t how you give your dog some fresh air.

dog-truck-bed-2Image from Life with Beagle

Your dog could end up with rocks, dirt or other debris in its eyes from all of that wind blowing. You never know, you may hit a bump, step on your brakes or do something that could send your dog flying right out of your truck bed. Then, your dog could be injured or road kill. I digress…

5. You think it’s cool to leave your dog in the car.

Really?

In all seriousness.

Sometimes, I think people don’t realize what an undertaking getting a dog is.

I also think that just like parenting, sometimes we forget that what our dogs do can have an effect on others. And that sometimes we can control what our dogs do.

Hey. Be a responsible dog owner.

Starting with getting your dog trained.

(Cause FYI dogs shouldn’t just bark to be barking)

I mean, I’m not Cesar Milan- so what do I know?

End Rant.

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4 thoughts on “Five Reasons Why You Suck at Being a Dog Owner: A Rant

  1. This post couldn’t have come at a better time. All of this is so true. It’s more than just a cute cuddly thing. It’s a kid.
    Only they eat a drawer full of socks and can’t pass it and they puke all over the place and then you realize that you’re going might have to play Jesus today.
    Suicide by socks.
    Stupid dog.
    I still love him thought.
    Kimberly´s last blog post ..Me With Fun Pictures

    1. I was watching your Instagram and wondering what he did to warrant a ridiculously expensive trip to the vet. He ate socks. Little shit. But yes, we love them anyway.

  2. I absolutely hate dog owners like that!! Getting a dog is a huge responsibility and some people just can’t hack it. I love dogs but won’t get one just because I don’t want that added responsibility in my life right now. It’s too bad more people don’t consider that before buying/adopting.
    Kat´s last blog post ..Finish the Sentence Friday

    1. Amen Kat. It’s such a HUGE deal. We’d love to get another dog, but really, we can’t do it right now. I think our dog would LOVE a friend, it’s just not in the cards. Besides the fact that we don’t have the space in our house, we just don’t have the time to commit to another dog right now.

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