I mean, seriously, I don’t.
More specifically, I probably don’t like your dog.
Oh, and have you seen my gorgeous dog?
He’s 8 years old this June.
He can sit, shake, semi-roll-over, play dead and fart like nobody’s business.
Oh… and he doesn’t bark.
I mean, almost never.
Your asshole dog, though, does.
And it’s annoying.
That’s kind of one of the reasons you suck at owning dogs.
1. You let your dog stay outside and bark incessantly- disturbing all of those who have the poor fortune of living around you.
1a. You make dumb ass excuses to your neighbors for your dogs incessant barking. You know, excuses like “Oh, she’s not mean, she’s just vocal.”
2. Putting your dog on a stake outside on a retractable leash is not walking your dog.
Your dog is not a cat that can go roam the neighborhood on its own. Which, don’t get me started on random cats in the neighborhood. Your dog needs to be walked. Your dog would probably like to go to the dog park every once in a while. Being a dog owner meant that you promised to keep your furry friend active.
Image from Franks Online Pets
2a. Putting your dog on a retractable leash means that your dog gets into my yard and gets to bark even closer to my back door…
3. You set out for a walk with your dog and don’t bring poop bags.
What? You just imagined that you’d let your dog out after being home alone all day and there’d be no poop? Or were you hoping that you’d go out and your dog would poop and you could do it without anyone seeing you?
I’m the girl that happens to step in dog poop all of the time. Just for good measure.
You make me sick.
PICK UP YOUR DOG’S SHIT
4. Letting your dog ride in the bed of your pickup truck isn’t how you give your dog some fresh air.
Your dog could end up with rocks, dirt or other debris in its eyes from all of that wind blowing. You never know, you may hit a bump, step on your brakes or do something that could send your dog flying right out of your truck bed. Then, your dog could be injured or road kill. I digress…
5. You think it’s cool to leave your dog in the car.
In all seriousness.
Sometimes, I think people don’t realize what an undertaking getting a dog is.
I also think that just like parenting, sometimes we forget that what our dogs do can have an effect on others. And that sometimes we can control what our dogs do.
Hey. Be a responsible dog owner.
Starting with getting your dog trained.
(Cause FYI dogs shouldn’t just bark to be barking)
I mean, I’m not Cesar Milan- so what do I know?
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