Daddy drew this one!

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As Shannon and Gene’s two kids- Nick and Sophie- enter adulthood, I want . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Tweed-Simmons Family Jewels]]> It’s a beautiful Saturday in L.A. The sun’s out- but it’s not so hot that my eyebrows are sweating. I’m headed to meet Shannon Lee Tweed, the Canadian blond bombshell, mom and long-time partner of rock star Gene Simmons.

As Shannon and Gene’s two kids- Nick and Sophie- enter adulthood, I want to talk to Shannon about what it’s like to be a mom. The good, the bad and of course, the rock n’ roll!

As I walk in I find Shannon tucked away in a corner of this quaint café with her reading glasses on looking at her white iPhone.

If you were to look up the phrase “down-to-earth” in the dictionary, you might just see Shannon’s face.

Why?

Well, as I got myself all ready to meet Shannon (I was a complete bag of nerves)- I shaved my legs, plucked my eyebrows and tried to dress myself to look like as much as a human being as possible. (If you are a hermit crab like me, ya don’t get out much, so getting dressed to meet someone important is hard.) I put up this tweet in preparation:

But, to my surprise, Shannon is clad in gray jogging pants, a white top and her running shoes. You see- she was supposed to go hiking this morning, but it didn’t happen, so since she didn’t sweat she came right out to meet me! And here I was hoping that I was properly dressed!

I feel right at home with Shannon as she embraces me in a great big hug that only a Mommy knows how to give! And speaking with her is as easy as pie- it feels like I’ve known her forEVER and I can just tell her all of my secrets.

Nothing is off limits with Shannon and after a bit of small talk and over a yummy lunch, we get down to the real reason I’m here- to talk about her membership in the the club that so many women are blessed to be a part of- The Mommy Club.

Everyone knows you’re Canadian, where in Canada are you from?

I was born in Newfoundland.

Do you still have family there?

My father died in… ’82 and that’s the last time I was there. I don’t have any direct family there. I’d love to go back, though.

Is it just you and your sister [Tracy] or do you guys have other siblings?

Seven of us.

Do they all live in the states now?

Just my sister Tracy, my other siblings still live in Canada. (Shannon has 3 brothers and 3 sisters)

What made you want to come to the states?

I left home really early- probably because there were so many of us. I was just tired of sharing everything. My mom kept us off of welfare by working during the day and going to school at night. She went back to school and learned how to be a Lab Tech and eventually she headed the Hematology Department at the hospital. So she did really well. When I was 15 I just said “I gotta go.” So I went, got a job and got a little apartment. Eventually, I moved to Ottawa and I was asked to be in a Miss Ottawa pageant and things just kinda snowballed from there.

On Being a Mom:

Have you always known that you wanted to be a mom?

Yeah…

I still want more.

If Gene would let me adopt, I would. I would have SO many and I wouldn’t adopt from India or China- there are so many kids right here. Right in this city. Right in this town. It breaks my heart.

I think about the older kids- the ones that will be let out of the system when they are 18… where are they gonna go? People are afraid to help them because they think- what?- that the kid is gonna come into their house and steal a picture frame?! Who cares? Help them!

Does Gene want more kids?

He’s done. He’s like no- I just got you back.

I don’t know, though. I still think that I can try to talk him into it after the kids [Nick & Sophie] have completely left home, but… I don’ t know. I’m working on it.

I would love to have another child of my own. I’ve still got the eggs- I checked. I just need a little help from Gene.

We see so many children of celebrities who often go down the wrong path, becoming mixed up with drugs, alcohol and excessive partying. How did you manage to raise children who are so well grounded? How come we don’t see Nick out there boozing or Sophie flashing her boobs?

I don’t know… I really don’t know. They just don’t want to.

When Nick turned 21, I tried playing beer pong with him and tried absinthe, but it didn’t work. So I just said to myself he’ll probably never drink.

Is it really that sincere respect for Gene’s image that they don’t put themselves out there like that? Did you guys have a talk with them like “your dad is a celebrity so…”?

No we never had a talk with them. It’s a respect for their parents, but I think it’s more a respect for themselves.

Do you think the fact that Gene doesn’t drink have something to do with it too?

Yeah, I do there’s Gene who’s like Dudley Do-Right. Never done anything- not a drug, not a cigarette, not a drink and will never. Then there’s me who did everything and now knows better. So now I can tell them what to look for and I explain everything to them. I tell them everything I’ve done.

So you’re honest with your kids? Do you think that’s important in parenting?

Oh yeah. I really do. I don’t think kids are stupid. I think they know when you’re not telling the truth. I mean, I think there’s age appropriate honesty- there’s no point in telling your kids about sex and drugs when they are like five!

A lot of teenagers are having sex and getting pregnant now…

Sex is so casual now, but you know what- sex was casual when I was young too, but it wasn’t as talked about. I have a feeling that it will go back to being proper- it’s going to be cyclical- because where else can it go now?

My thing with boys when I was younger was I wasn’t getting it [male affection] from anywhere else because my father got into that car accident when I was 11. So I was always looking like “do you like me? am I pretty?” from some. guy. All of the time.

Sophie has so much love and male adoration at home- she doesn’t need to look for it. I think that’s really important. That’s where I think the two parent thing comes in. Even if you’re divorced- being there and being present. It’s important.

Gene was on the road a lot when the kids were young. Do you think that Gene’s traveling affected his relationship with the children at all?

No. He’s a different guy with the kids then he is with anyone else. They are the only ones that can make him cry- them and America, anything patriotic… he was absent, but he wasn’t. He would call everyday. He’s called me everyday since I’ve known him. He’s got a great connection with them.

There was a point when Sophie was young that she said:

“Mom, Dad doesn’t know that I don’t like ketchup.”
And I ask her- “well is it important that he doesn’t know you don’t like ketchup?”
“Well, not important” she said “but why doesn’t he know that I don’t like ketchup?”
And I said “well, he’s been out making a really good living for us, so he hasn’t been eating with you as much as I’ve been eating with you. And- I make your meals- that’s the only reason I know you don’t like ketchup.”
And she says “Well, it’s kinda frustrating ’cause he keeps offering me ketchup!”

They have finally realized that Gene is not about the small stuff, he’s about the bigger picture. So for small stuff, like questions about girls/boys or relationships they come to me. For bigger picture things like financial advice, career advice- big stuff; big ideas- they go to Gene.

Nick is majoring in English and Sophie is on her way off to college this year. Was it a Simmons family rule that your kids had to go to college?

We never said anything- they just assumed they had to go to a four-year college and get a degree. They didn’t want to run away; go to any out of state schools, they both wanted to stay pretty close to home. Nick comes home on the weekends.

And they’re so, so different. She’s a math head, he’s an English head. She’s into her sports and volleyball, Nick’s 6’7″ and never touched a ball.

They’re so different, but I don’t know really what they’ll end up being. I can’t tell. They’re gonna do somethin’… somethin’ good.

For you, what’s the hardest part about being a mom?

Um…

Letting them go I think. I didn’t find a hard part before. It was a little hard doing it on my own sometimes and I say that with all of the respect in the world for single mothers everywhere. I don’t know how they do it.

I never, ever want to complain about that ever. My mom had seven kids by herself- God love her- and I had all the money in the world and a nanny. So I can’t complain- nothing was hard, ever.

Emotionally, it was hard to be the disciplinarian all of the time. After a while, I thought the kids are going to hate me. I was the one saying no, no, no all of the time and then dad would come home and he’s the best parent in the world and it would piss me off! But you can’t show it, because you don’t ever want to play against one another. We always had a deal- whatever one of us said, the other one went along with it. You two have to be one, you can’t go against each other like “ohh your mom said no, but I’ll say yeah.” You can’t do it.

Did you guys ever argue in front of the kids?

Well we don’t argue because Gene does whatever I say!

But no, don’t argue in front of them. Take it somewhere else.

I think disagreeing is fine and discussions are fine, because this teaches the kids that people aren’t always going to get along in life. But personal attacks, yelling and fighting- no. The kids only learn that mom can be a bitch.

Some moms have a hard time balancing being a mom and spouse/girlfriend/partner and never really finding time for themselves. How do you manage being Sophie/Nick’s Mom and Gene’s partner and still finding time for Shannon?

You don’t.

There’s not a lot of time for yourself.

I was PTA President, I was lunch mom- I wanted to make sure that I was present at the school, so I quit working so much and volunteered at the school a lot. After school, I’d take the kids to their various activities, so there wasn’t any time for me. I lost a lot of friends, but you have kids and that’s what you sign up for.

I think a lot of moms lose friends when they become parents

You do, but you gain other friends.

You get different friends for different things. I have a friend I go hiking with and a friend that I get together with to talk about men and sometimes you all get together. It’s different now, though, it’s not like you have time to just go and hang out with your girlfriends.

Now that both kids are in college, I’ll have time to start doing that again.

So basically we all have to wait for our kids to grow up to get time for ourselves?

Yeah. I mean, take care of yourself- take care of your health. So… you don’t have time to put your makeup on- whatever. Take your vitamins, drink lots of water and go to the soccer game. I lived in my sweatpants.

So being active in Nick and Sophie’s lives…

Really important to me. Because Gene’s a workaholic, I have to.

When other parents kids would ask them to drop them off a block away, my kids would ask me to come in. That was nice that my kids didn’t mind their friends seeing me or having me around.

Now, Sophie always wants to hang out… we go get our nails done together. I love that she reminds me about “Mommy Time” and she hasn’t ditched me.

As a Mom, what is the most important lesson that you hope you have taught Nick and Sophie?

To not be a sheep.

Don’t do it just ’cause everybody else is doing it. Really think about the consequences and know that your actions can affect your whole family.

As a parent you can have four children, three of whom are doctors and one that is in jail and you will always be known as the mother of the child who is in prison or the sister of the guy that is in prison.

Also, self pride. Self pride is major. That gets you everywhere.

So, are you looking forward to being a grandma?

Oh God, yes. I tell Nick if he can find a girl that just wants to have a baby, he can give it to me- just drop it off and walk away! Sophie- she’s not allowed to have kids yet. Total double standard, I know.

And because your fans want to know:

In the episode when you had the taser party at your house- did you and Tracy really tase and pepper spray that woman?

If I tell you I’d have to taze you!

This image is mine. No copying. Mmkay?
Why would you want a random picture of me anyway?
Thanks!

The Jewels of this family are clearly the amazing children they have been able to raise.

You can see Shannon in all of her awesomeness on A&E’s Gene Simmons Family Jewels. New episodes starting Tuesday, July 20 9/8 C.

Come on…don’t copy- get your own material. Nobody likes a cheater! Original & Hand Written Plagiarism Will Be Detected. This site is being monitored by CopyGator. Mmkay? Thanks.

Image borrowed from hwnt.org

So, I get a phone call last week from the lovely people of the United States Census… I think it took like 30-45 minutes of my time. (Like I have anything else to be doing, right?)

They said they wanted to follow-up with me regarding . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: When People See You- What Race Do They Think You Are?]]>

Image borrowed from hwnt.org

So, I get a phone call last week from the lovely people of the United States Census… I think it took like 30-45 minutes of my time. (Like I have anything else to be doing, right?)

They said they wanted to follow-up with me regarding the answers that I put on my Census form. Honestly, I feel bad for that poor woman that had to call people and ask them the most ridiculous and inappropriate questions- ever!

She asked me to verify things like how many people live in my household, our ages, race and everything else that I already answered on the doggone Census in the first place.

Then I was told that she wanted to ask me more questions about only my daughter and myself… I guess my husband wasn’t good enough to get asked the in-depth questions ’cause he’s just “Caucasian” and apparently that race is self-explanatory in this country.

So here are the type of questions I was asked:

• Am I Hispanic, Pacific Islander, Asian (and a bunch of other races that I can’t remember)
  No
• When people look at me do they ever think that I am: Asian, Hispanic, Pacific Islander (and on & on)
  Laugh OUT LOUD- No
• What race do I consider myself to be? Black, African-American (are they different?)
  Black
  Then she started asking me stuff about being Haitian or African and I said you guys really confuse me regarding what kind of information you are trying to collect. Do you want to know my race or my ethnic background because to me- those two things are different.If, in fact, you want to know my ethnic background, then I am 100% Jamaican. If you are looking for my race, I call myself black.
  
• You say you are Jamaican- where was your mother born?
  Jamaica
  
  And your father?
  EnglandSo he’s British?
  (Super frustrated that I have to give family history- what is this? School?)
  Not really, my grandmother was there for school. He is Jamaican as well.
  
• So you consider yourself Jamaican?
  **Sigh** I am Jamaican- ethnically- that is the culture that I was raised in. That is where a great deal of my family still lives. But I am an American, I was born here. I live here. Blah, blah, blah
• And your daughter, you said she is multi-racial?
  She is bi-racial, yes.
• What race is her father?
  He is white, Caucasian- whatever
• She asked me something about his ethnic background
  I don’t know. He’s got all kinds of stuff in his family. Italian, Swiss, Austrian, but he more identifies with his Italian side, so he’s Italian? I guess… (WTF?!)
• I know you said your daughter is only one, but when she is older, what race do you think she will identify with?
  Uhh, I haven’t thought that far in the future to be honest with you. I really don’t think my daughter should have to explain to anyone what race she is- it’s no one’s business. She will be raised knowing that she is bi-racial and I guess when she gets older, maybe she will form her own opinion regarding what race she wants to “identify” with. She will be raised knowing that she is to embrace both races.
• For the purposes of the Census, though, I need to write an answer
  So you can write down exactly what I just said to you.
  
• When people look at your daughter, what race do you think they think she is?
  Laugh Out Loud (more out of frustration) Are you serious?!?!

I mean, I could go on. We were on the phone for a while and I know she was just doing her job, but really United States Government, really?

I wonder if Barack Obama had to answer these invasive questions- he is, after all, multi-racial as well.

This is absolute bullshit and can be added to the list of “dumb ass shit that our government does.”  What does it matter? Are we trying to figure out where all of the black folks are so we can keep them in check? Are they trying to keep track of how many multi-racial/interracial/bi-racial children are being born so that they can keep tabs on them?

And why ask about what people think my child is when they look at her? Are they curious as to whether or not my child will “pass”?

What next?

Are they gonna start asking about our job status and how people treat us?

Now, I know I am saying most of this out of frustration and so some of my thoughts may seem ignorant. I guess, I just don’t. understand. Why they think they can ask you these things and why they didn’t ask me the same questions about my white husband?

Do people ever think your husband is Asian, Pacific Islander, Hispanic or Black when they look at him?

I think if they asked that question about my white husband they would see a. how ridiculous of a question it is and b. they’d be surprised to know that almost the entire time we lived in Florida, people would come up to him and start speaking Spanish- a lot of people think he’s Mexican or somethin’. I think it’s the awesome tan he develops from being an outdoor worker!

Okay, I’m done with my rant. Carry on.

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When I was a kid I was a bit of a hypochondriac (well ok so I still am). Whenever I heard of a new illness or ailment of course I thought I had it!  I remember lying in bed praying asking God to please let me live long enough to fall . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Our Story by Jenn]]>

When I was a kid I was a bit of a hypochondriac (well ok so I still am). Whenever I heard of a new illness or ailment of course I thought I had it!  I remember lying in bed praying asking God to please let me live long enough to fall in love.  I wanted to know what they were talking about in all those love songs I would play over and over again on cassette tapes lol.  Time passed and I dated a few people in high school but I know I was never truly in love, so I kept praying every night that God would send me someone who understood me (I am a pretty complicated girl!)  When I was a senior in College I went to a party and there was a freshman football player working the keg (I know glamorous right!) I went over to fill my cup and we started talking.  He was so easy to talk to and he had the cutest smile I had ever seen!  I spent the whole night standing by the keg talking to him.  He came over my place and we watched a movie and talked until we fell asleep. The next day we stayed in bed all morning just talking. I remember he skipped all of his classes that day.  From those first moments things were just different with him.  It had never been so easy to be with someone.  I remember when he would hug me with his big football player arms a felt so tiny and safe. He had a way of making me feel like I was the only person in the world in crowd full of people. You know how people say they just know, well I just knew he was the one, and that we would grow old and gray together with a houseful of kids and grandkids. I got a job teaching near the college while Aaron finished school.  He proposed to me the summer before his senior year.  We were married the fall after he graduated. God had answered my prayers, I had found true love.

Now onto the babies!  I remember thanking God for letting me find love.  It was the most amazing thing I had experienced in my young life.  We both wanted kids and lots of them.  I always said at least three and Aaron was convinced five was a good number.  The exact number didn’t matter, we thought life would just happen and that detail would play itself out.  I remember not really trying but not using anything to stop a baby from coming either.  I began to worry because 6 months had passed and nothing had happened.  We then began to “try” to have a baby.  Another 6 months went by and still nothing.  I remember sitting in church praying that God would give me a baby.  I remember thinking you let me find my soul mate, now please let us have a baby together.  Another four months passed, it had been over a year now. I was late so I got a test.  I had taken at least a dozen in the past year and they were always negative to I thought nothing of it.  I remember sitting in the bathroom looking at the stick as it read PREGNANT!!!  I was full of joyous emotions, laughing and crying all at the same time.  I pulled myself together and ran down stairs to tell Aaron.  He was like a little boy filled with excitement and hugged me so tight.

Our first baby was a beautiful little boy.  We named him Henry.  We could not have been more proud of our little man.  It was so hard to get pregnant with Henry that we figured with breastfeeding we really didn’t need to use protection.  Well we were wrong!  When Henry was just five months old I was pregnant again.  We were nervous having them so close in age but were overjoyed that we were able to have yet another baby.  Little Sophie came fourteen months to the day of Henry’s birth.  We were a happy little family we had a boy and now a girl! Aaron had a good job that allowed me to stay home with the kids and I was loving my time with them.

Sophie was eight months old when Aaron lost his job due to downsizing. It took him a little over a year to find a comparable job. It was a very scary time, it was a very trying time, and it was one of the best times because Aaron got to spend a year at home with his kids at such a precious stage in their lives.  He got to experience a lot of firsts.  Had the stress of money and fear of not making it day to day not been present it would have been pure joy.  We definitely had some of the happiest moments during that year, but the stress especially on Aaron played a toll.  They say money does not buy happiness, and I believe this, but I also think the lack of it can make you pretty stressed and unhappy.  I started Bowinhairos during this time to bring in extra money. During those first few months that I opened my Etsy shop I would check my site every half hour to see if I had sold anything. Every sale counted, it was diaper money! It turned out to be something I was extremely passionate about.  I think it was an endeavor I was meant to take on.  It’s funny how God works that way.

Aaron now has a good job at a local college. It is a very low stress job in comparison to the one he lost.  He comes home happier than before.  Like I said, funny how God works that way. He has good benefits and things are slowly getting back to normal. Henry is now three and Sophie is two.  I am a little sad that if we have another baby there will be a few years span between them. Looking at Henry and Sophie today, I don’t know what they would do without each other.  They are truly each others best friend.  They wake up in the morning and call out the other ones name to start their day of toddler adventures. I know that Sophie was meant to be born exactly when she was.  We would have never tried to have a baby while Aaron was unemployed and Henry would be lost in this world without her. Again, it’s funny how God works that way. Although our life is not playing out exactly how we imagined it, we do not forget for a moment that we are blessed.  We are blessed to have found each other in the world.  Aaron is, and will always be my best everything.  We are blessed to have these two amazing healthy little people that we created.  I look at them every day in complete amazement.  Our family’s journey has just begun.  Now the only question is who is yet to join us.  We now are ready to start trying for number three.  If it happens we know that it was meant to be.  If not we also know that everything happens for a reason.  Sometimes it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned.  Sometimes the long road leads to the best destination.

About Jenn:

Jenn is one of five children who loves the idea of a large family. She is a former elementary school teacher who now stays at home with her two children ages two and three.  She loves creating different and unique hair accessories for her Etsy shop.  She and her husband  love spending time outdoors with their kids.  They love campfires, grilling and just enjoying the fresh air.  She believes in living in the now and enjoying today because life has a funny way of passing us by while we are busy making plans for the future! You can follow Jenn on Twitter by clicking here.

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“My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”

Clarence Budington Kelland

Dear Daddy,

Sorry I didn’t buy you a card this year. As we re-evaluate our spending habits, I have opted to reduce the amount of cards I . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Open Letter To My Dad on Father’s Day]]>

“My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”

Clarence Budington Kelland

Dear Daddy,

Sorry I didn’t buy you a card this year. As we re-evaluate our spending habits, I have opted to reduce the amount of cards I buy. I find that people like handwritten notes better and I can easily express how I feel. And anyway, what do people do with cards after the holiday/special day has passed? I always feel bad throwing away old cards, but I have found that I have become sort of a card-hoarder. So last year, I went through all of my cards- there was an entire box- and kept the ones that meant the most. The ones that I could due to part with, I sent to an organization that was using recycled cards for something. So, consider this your father’s day card.

Our relationship has always been… interesting- wouldn’t you say?

There are definitely moments from my childhood that weren’t so fantastic and that I probably resented you for at the time. There’s no need to rehash old stuff, though. Regardless of what I thought or felt at the moment, I am sure that those experiences only helped to mold me into the woman that I am today.

I wanted to take this time to thank you. Our family has never been good about expressing our feelings in a positive manner. We are more yellers, shouters, point-the-finger(ers) lol. Which is the first thing I wanted to thank you for.

You taught me how to feel. I was always the “sensitive one” in the family, always crying, “just like my father”… and while I admit, I never understood your sensitive side, in retrospect, it is important to be in touch with one’s feelings. Over time, I have learned how to have more control over my emotions- when to allow myself to be vulnerable and when to stay guarded. I guess you can say that I have become a mixture of you and Mommy. And I am okay with that. One needs to be tough, but to a certain extent. I think being in touch with my feelings and emotions allows me to express in an honest manner how I am feeling- something that many people cannot do. The toughness in me allows me to be vulnerable enough to put that out there and not really care about what the person has to say in return. As long as I am honest with myself and others, that’s all that matters.

You taught me the importance of managing my money. Some may laugh at this, thinking that you have lived… beyond your means at certain points in your life. While I understand your rationale for wanting some of the things that you want, behind that, in my opinion is someone who is very aware of how much money he does and does not have. You taught me how to balance a checkbook and that would be an important skill as I left the nest and went out on my own. I will admit, that I don’t balance a checkbook anymore… one needs money in their checking account to do that. When I start working again, I can take that up again. Your money management tutorials has allowed me to be responsible for our household income right now- I pay the bills and I know what is and is not feasible for us financially.

You know, you always wanted to hold my hand when we crossed the street or something like that when I was younger and I hated that. I’ve never really liked to be touched- hand holding and hugging… not so much my thing. But having those moments with you- as much as they made me want to cringe at the time- they have taught me what is important regarding my daughter. I need to give her hugs, hold her hand and tell her that I love her every chance I get.

We were (and still aren’t) the ‘I Love You’ family. You were the only one who said it and I couldn’t understand why. But now, as a Mom I get it. I can look back and remember my father telling me that he loved me. I want Cadence to be able to look back and remember the same. It is a feeling that I cannot describe to you for me to be able to tell my daughter that I love her. If anyone in our family besides you told me that they loved me, I would be sure to cringe and feel uncomfortable. I don’t want it to be like that in my (new) family. I want us to be open and honest about those feelings we have for one another. There are so many people out there who don’t have parents or don’t have someone to tell them that they love them. So.. I get it. Thank you for that, Daddy.

Something that stands out in my mind is when you would go to BJ’s after work and buy a super-sized box of Always pads- just that. I don’t know how many men would walk into a wholesale club and buy a ginormous box of maxi pads, but you did that for me. That showed me right away what kind of man I needed. One who wasn’t afraid to do those little things. Yesterday, we had lunch on base and Cadence was being a handful, so while I tried to calm her down my awesome husband stood there in line with lots of male soldiers in uniform around us and held my very large white Coach bag with purple writing all over it. That’s what real men do- you taught me that.

Of course, there were things you inadvertently taught me like: how not to speak to people. You taught me that I knew I was going to marry a man that knew how to cook and iron his own stuff. You taught me that I was not going to be anyone’s maid. I am an independent woman and needed someone who would respect me as such. I appreciate you for these things.

You always told me that I needed to marry someone who was going to treat me like a Queen. That let me know what to look for in a spouse.

You have made many mistakes in your life. I don’t judge you for these, because though the road may have been long, I believe that you have learned from them. And those lessons are ones that you have tried to instill in both me and Junior to learn from. I am proud of you for having turned your life around and not looking back.

And though you pushed me in ways that I definitely did not appreciate at the time, you taught me the importance of education and striving to do/be the best that I could. You are one of the smartest people that I know and I take pride in knowing that I can call you for a word definition or to edit a paper for me.

Thank you for always supporting me, regardless of whether you agreed with the choices I made or not. Thank you for giving me that good balance of parent-”friend.” I always knew that I could come to you to talk, but I also knew that there would be consequences for any poor decisions that I chose to make.

We aren’t best friends, we have our fights- some last longer than others, but at the end of the day I know that you will always be there for me- regardless of how mad we may be with one another at the moment.

Most importantly, I am happy to have a dad. I’ve said this before, but one thing that I find repulsive is “men” who plant the seed (if you will) and walk away. You are not a man and there is nothing more irresponsible and disgusting to me than someone who doesn’t want to own up to their child and give them the opportunity to have both parents in their lives. So thank you for being there.

As it is always said, “Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad.” (Proverb).

So, Happy Dad’s Day.

Love,
DEW

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I remember my first pair of Nikes.

I remember my first Guess outfit that I was able to buy for myself.

I remember my older brother making bottle rockets in Heineken bottles and me being terrified ’cause I thought glass would shatter everywhere.

I remember . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Sacrifices And Security]]> What do you remember about your childhood?

I remember my first pair of Nikes.

I remember my first Guess outfit that I was able to buy for myself.

I remember my older brother making bottle rockets in Heineken bottles and me being terrified ’cause I thought glass would shatter everywhere.

I remember lots of parties and lots of loud music. I assume that this is the reason my hearing is not so great.

I remember a two-door Nissan Sentra, then a Nissan Pathfinder in 1991- the year my younger brother was born.

Oh and I remember the Pathfinder being crashed by you know who and you know how many times. (love you bro)

I remember rice & peas, oxtails, curry goat, stew chicken, escovitch. Nom, Nom, Nom- you have to appreciate Jamaican food.

What I don’t remember is never having anything to eat.

I don’t remember worrying about where I was going to live.

I don’t remember not having that joy of having family around.

I always had a place to lay my head. I always had friends growing up.

And I had because of my parents.

Sure, they fought and as far as I was concerned they hated each other.

As an adult, though, I am so glad that my father was in my life. It made a huge difference.

————–

My husband is watching this documentary on basketball and these kids are talking about moving 5, 6, 7 times. Not knowing if they would have something to eat. Wearing clothes down to the ground til they were worn. Not having a father, some no mother either and having to be raised by brothers or sisters.

————–

I had security.

Regardless of how my parents felt about each other they made a commitment to us, their children, to be around.

They took up side jobs- working as bouncers at night clubs ’til the wee hours in the morning or working at Macy’s as a part-time job in addition to a full time day job in Insurance.

They did what they needed to do so that we could have and not want for the necessary things in life.

When I look at my daughter, I want to give her everything she needs and the things that she wants, too. My parents taught me the golden rule of parenting (in my opinion). Which is that I need to do whatever is in my power to make sure that my kids never want for anything- even if that means making sacrifices… maybe sacrificing my dreams (temporarily) or parents who make sure their kids eat before they eat. Buying what your kids need instead of buying something that you want.

You know, our kids didn’t ask to be on this Earth. We brought them here.

I know that a lot of people out there have it hard. Watching things like this documentary and listening to these guys stories reminds me of what is important and just makes me grateful for how I was raised. It puts things in perspective.

I am just thankful to my parents for providing my siblings and I with that constant security. I’m thankful to my parents for the sacrifices that they made for us… and for any of the times they ever went without so that we could have.

It takes becoming a grown-up to really appreciate the little things. I am now learning, too, that even when you think they are not looking- they are. (They being our kids) And they are learning from us- our actions, our behavior- how we treat ourselves and others.

Now, my parents live on two separate ends of the East Coast- but I know that I always have a place to call home. I can just choose between Florida and New York.

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Three Years…

Three Years Ago…

Three Years Ago Today…

Three Years Ago Today I Made The Best Decision Of My Life

Happy Anniversary To Us.

Come . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Wordless Wednesday: Three Years]]>

Three Years…

Three Years Ago…

Three Years Ago Today…

Three Years Ago Today I Made The Best Decision Of My Life

Happy Anniversary To Us.

Come on…don’t copy- get your own material. Nobody likes a cheater! Original & Hand Written Plagiarism Will Be Detected. This site is being monitored by CopyGator. Mmkay? Thanks.

Come on…don’t copy- get your own material. Nobody likes a cheater! Original & Hand Written Plagiarism Will Be Detected. This site is being monitored by CopyGator. Mmkay? Thanks.