Oh, sorry. Let me rewind.

Today’s rant is dedicated to the thief out in Madison, Wisconsin wearing dress shoes and cut-off denim shorts…

I was reading a news article about a family visiting Madison, Wisconsin for a wedding stopped to pose for a family pic in front of the capitol building. . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: You’re On Candid Camera]]> Fuckface!

Oh, sorry. Let me rewind.

Today’s rant is dedicated to the thief out in Madison, Wisconsin wearing dress shoes and cut-off denim shorts…

I was reading a news article about a family visiting Madison, Wisconsin for a wedding stopped to pose for a family pic in front of the capitol building. Well… upon reviewing the picture, they saw this loser

Image taken from Yahoo.com

stealing their stuff. Really? You asswipe.

Un-luckily for him, the family went into the capitol building, showed the photo to capitol police who sent out a description of him to local authorities and he was found still lingering in the area- with the bag, with the families cash & wallet still in place.

That was a major #fail on your part. Douchebag.

They should cut his hand off for stealing.

You can read the whole story here.

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What’s usually your first thought when you see kids acting out when they are in public with their parents?

I think . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: That Mom]]> You ever go out to the grocery store or out to a restaurant to eat and see a mom there with her kids and the kids are putting on a show?

What’s usually your first thought when you see kids acting out when they are in public with their parents?

I think before that mom would have been met with criticism by me and I’d probably shake my head and think “not my kid.”

First of all, yes, my kid. Shit I don’t want to take Cadence anywhere for fear of being kicked out cause she acts so damn crazy. We tried to go to Chili’s on Sunday (I don’t know why) and she was screaming, yelling, trying to get out of her high chair. You get so embarrassed that what do you do? Ya leave, right? Yup. Took her ass right out, didn’t even get to finish my dinner.

But I have also learned through a recent friendship that we don’t know what that mom is going through and so we shouldn’t be so quick to judge. It can be all she can do and the best she can do to just try and shush them and get through the grocery store as quickly as possible without flipping out on her kids and looking like a “bad mom” or a mad person in public.

We don’t know what’s going on at home with her husband/boyfriend/baby’s father- is he present? Is he there, but not really there? Is she worried about getting the groceries, running home to make dinner, clean up house, fold the rest of the laundry and get the kids a bath before her husband gets home?

Does she have no help at all? Is she managing the house, changing the diapers, making the food, feeding/cleaning the pets, being a great socialite when out at her significant other’s business parties, laying down and spreading her legs the right amount of time a week?

She may be tired y’all.

You know that mom. Don’t judge her. Shit, being a parent is hard. Being a mom- harder.

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But black folks, you know that sooo many of us have made that joke about black people not being serial killers- that stuff is for white folks.

?

The . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Serial Killing- It Ain’t Just for White Folks Anymore]]> Okay, I know I’m stereotyping.

But black folks, you know that sooo many of us have made that joke about black people not being serial killers- that stuff is for white folks.

?

The other night I was watching Nightline, don’t ask me why. I don’t have any business watching the news- I’ll tell you why in another post- but there was a report about a Maryland serial killer recently charged.

Two mother-daughter pairs murdered in the same year.

What blows my mind about this case was his precision. Deactivating the alarm system in one of his victim’s home, using the UPS database to find these women.

Think about what kind of information there is in the UPS database about you besides the names and phone numbers of the people that live in the house. What type of shipments you receive- is it lots of toys? clothes? tools? That’s why I have a P.O. Box for the review site, but unfortunately, so many companies prefer FedEx and UPS… I’m assuming it’s because of pricing, but I don’t know.

I think about shit like that in relation to Baby C. Do I put too much out there about her on my blog that some weird ass pedophile can use to manipulate her in the future (in regards to her likes and dislikes)? I hope not.

Anyway. Off on a tangent there.

Serial Killing ain’t for white folks anymore y’all. So we need to stop telling that joke. This is the second main stream black serial killer I’ve heard about (the D.C. sniper included), but I’m sure there’s more out there. And if you look at this dude’s picture- he just looks crazy y’all.

That’s why everyone is suspect in my book. It may be the Brooklyn girl in me, but I’ve seen enough to know that you can’t trust anyone. When I say everyone is suspect, I mean everyone. Sometimes a stranger will say something to me and the abrasiveness with which I respond to them throws my so-nice-ever-so-trusting-Mid-West-born-and-bred husband off guard.

“Honey!” (he usually says)

I mean this is the man who gave the woman in the Wal-Mart parking lot asking for money to pay her rent $5.

Me? I’m like:

A. Don’t get to close to me

B. I don’t want what you’re selling

C. Me Too! (That’s usually my response) or You and everybody else! For example, when they say:

- Times are hard for me (Me Too! or You and everybody else!)
- I got kids ((Me Too! or You and everybody else!))
- I can’t find a job (Me Too! or You and everybody else!)

Arm yourself with those two phrases, they will serve you well. I don’t mind helping other people out, but I can’t give every dime to every person I see. Come on.

The point of the above rant is: The state of our nation and economy is putting a lot of pressure on a lot of people and driving them to do extreme things, especially if basic needs like having food and water cannot be met.

Some people, though, like this serial killer dude are just crazy right out of the gate.

It’s sad that we have to have our guard up at all times, but it is what it is.

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My Dear God she was so adorable and tiny.

She’s still adorable, but not-so tiny.

Sometimes I question if I’m doing a good job with her and then she says or does something disturbingly smart and I’m reassured that, yes- I’m doing the best I can.

Yeah, I lose my patience . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Where Does Time Go?]]>

My Dear God she was so adorable and tiny.

She’s still adorable, but not-so tiny.

Sometimes I question if I’m doing a good job with her and then she says or does something disturbingly smart and I’m reassured that, yes- I’m doing the best I can.

Yeah, I lose my patience with her and I get super frustrated, but patience has never been my thing. I’m not perfect, but the point is, I’m trying. And I love her. And she knows it cause she’s just Mommas big bundle of hugs and kisses… oh and tantrums.

My womb hurts.

And sometimes I think, I’m so impatient with her sometimes, how can I have another.

Because. I was made to be a Mommy.

I look at her sometimes and I just can’t believe that she grew from me. She was once in my body. She is a part of me.

She’s smart, she’s silly, she’s funny, she throws tantrums, she doesn’t listen, she knows that cows say “Mooo” and that her doggie is a “good boy.”

That’s my girl. She’s getting so big.

**Sigh**

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A vagina by any other name would still be a vagina?*

Oh… wait. That wasn’t Shakespeare.

There are so many different names for the vagina:

Who’s YOUR Daddy? Is it your Dad, Stepdad or… is it your man?

Okay, let me go back.

I was listening to the radio the other day in the car and heard a song by Usher titled “Daddy’s Home.” Now, I . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Who’s Ur Daddy?]]> Well, I know who my father is- his name is Dwayne.

Who’s YOUR Daddy? Is it your Dad, Stepdad or… is it your man?

Okay, let me go back.

I was listening to the radio the other day in the car and heard a song by Usher titled “Daddy’s Home.” Now, I don’t know what this song is about, so I couldn’t even tell you. I was too distracted by the fact that he wanted to be called “Daddy” by his woman.

Now I have heard many women do this and it’s probably popular.

I am a visual learner- I have a very photographic memory. So when someone says “Daddy” guess what? I see my Dad’s face (shocker).

So, imagine my mortification when hearing this song and even thinking for a second that my man would want me to call him Daddy- especially in the bedroom.

I had a conversation via BBM with my friend Jenny about this and we are both in agree to the following:

I am hereby declaring out loud for all to see that calling your man “Daddy“- especially in the bedroom is HIGHLY, HIGHLY inappropriate.

I mean really- who wants a visual of their dad during sex?

NOT ME.

Alright, Carry on.

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Yup… the icon is celebrating it’s 30th anniversary. I love this game. My husband was telling me that he remembers when the Hyvee in Omaha first got the Pacman arcade game when he was a kid.

If you Google half as much as  I do- you’ve seen the . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Happy 30th Birthday Pacman]]>

Yup… the icon is celebrating it’s 30th anniversary. I love this game. My husband was telling me that he remembers when the Hyvee in Omaha first got the Pacman arcade game when he was a kid.

If you Google half as much as  I do- you’ve seen the above tribute to the awesome game! What’s more awesome about the Google header is that if you click “Insert Coin” you can actually play Pacman on Google’s homepage, using your arrow keys to navigate the round yellow muncher.

Read this article from the Christian Science Monitor stating that some people are sooo ready for this Google Header to go away. I could see how it could be a semi-distraction. If I had a desk job, I’d probably play it from time-to-time.

To celebrate Pacman’s 30th anniversary, you can enter here to win a Smart Car designed after Pacman. Um.. I’ll pass, but maybe you want one?

And if you couldn’t get enough Pacman- they have a Facebook Page. Yeah… I am just finding this out too.

Okay, carry on.

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Image borrowed from Richardsons Books

Dear Pea,

People usually say ‘uh-oh’ when something happens by accident. For example, say Mommy walks by the desk and knocks a book on the floor when she bumps into the desk. ‘Uh-Oh’ would be a perfect . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Letters To My Child: On The Use of ‘Uh-Oh’]]>

Image borrowed from Richardsons Books

Dear Pea,

People usually say ‘uh-oh’ when something happens by accident. For example, say Mommy walks by the desk and knocks a book on the floor when she bumps into the desk. ‘Uh-Oh’ would be a perfect word to use in that situation.

Why? Because Momma didn’t mean to knock the book on the floor. She did it by accident when she bumped into the desk.

Now… let’s look at the way you use the term ‘Uh-Oh.’

• Just now, you felt the need to throw a tantrum. So you threw your sippy cup and the toy you were holding on the floor in the kitchen. You looked up at Momma and said: “Uh-Oh” (you like to drag out the oh part, so it’s more like Uh…. OOOOoooooh)
• When you sit in your booster seat to eat. Recently, you have decided that when you are all done (or as you say “Oooo-gun”) that it would be a great idea to throw your food on the floor. This morning it was your Cheerios. Last night, pasta (Or “pa-pa” as you call it)
• When you are having tubby time, you have recently decided that not only do you want to play with your toys in the tub, but you want to decorate the bathroom floor with your tub toys as well… leaving a nice puddle outside of the tub. You have been throwing your toys out of the tub and saying “Uh… OOoooooh”

See dear, these are not ‘Uh-Oh’ situations. MMmkay? It’s not an ‘Uh-Oh’ when you do it on PURPOSE. Mommy and Daddy have been trying to explain that to you, but alas- we are speaking to a 16 month old in her own little word who could care less that we say “It’s not an uh-oh.”

**Sigh**

Hopefully you’ll learn soon.

Love,

Momma

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It is not now nor will it ever be acceptable to use fluids as a substitute for chewing.

I know that eating like a malnourished dog being fed for the first time in months is your forte, but seriously? Chew your food. That’s why God gave you teeth.

If . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Letters To My Child: On Chewing]]> Dear Baby Girl,

It is not now nor will it ever be acceptable to use fluids as a substitute for chewing.

I know that eating like a malnourished dog being fed for the first time in months is your forte, but seriously? Chew your food. That’s why God gave you teeth.

If you don’t stop using your water/juice/milk as a means to swallow said food and practically choke yourself, I am going to do like my Grandma and not allow you fluids until you’ve eaten all of your food.

Momma’s just trying to keep you from ending up in an emergency room with something like squash or hot dogs or chicken LODGED IN YOUR THROAT.

Mmmkay?

Love,

Momma

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If you know me well, you know I love music and singing- so is it a surprise that I’m kind of obsessed with Glee? My friends Erin, Amy and I got tickets to see Glee when it comes to Cali in concert and um… I’m overly . . . → Click Here To Read The Full Blog Post: Glee Recap: Episode 14]]>

If you know me well, you know I love music and singing- so is it a surprise that I’m kind of obsessed with Glee? My friends Erin, Amy and I got tickets to see Glee when it comes to Cali in concert and um… I’m overly excited.

Super psyched that Glee is back on TV- that Mr. Schuester finally knows that his dumb ass wife was faking her pregnancy, that Finn knows that Quinn’s baby wasn’t his and that Mr. Schu and Ms. Pillsbury can finally get together- should be funny with her OCD tendencies.

Anyway, I’ll be gracing you with my weekly episode recaps. I’ll just be typing my thoughts as I watch- nothing truly organized. If you don’t watch Glee and don’t know what the hell I’m talking about you can simply stop reading here and carry on with your day.

Otherwise, this should be fun… welcome aboard!

—————————————————————————
**Caution, if you have not seen this episode yet, this contains spoilers!**

Seriously Sue Sylvester? You will do anything. Ugh. I guess it makes for good comedy, though. Jane Lynch is so good in this role, I don’t think they could’ve found anyone else to do it as perfectly!

Did… she… seriously slip this dude a Rufie? hahahahaha (Please note I am not condoning the use of the date rape drug)

OMG Rachel, Really? Could you be any more of a stalker? You would be that kind of girlfriend- his and hers calendars? **gag** Team Finn tees? I would’ve hated you in high school.

And is Finn really that fuckin stupid to think two girls would want to date him at one time- two girls that are a part of the Cheerios? When he knows that Sue is always having the Cheerios do shit to break down the Glee club? (Well, I guess if he thought he could get Quinn pregnant not by having sex with her, but by simply jizzin’ in the hot tub, then I guess he’s all-around stupid and will believe anything)

LOLOL I love that Ms. Pillsbury has her little kit and she needs to get “freshened up” before a kiss. She’s so cute and funny and perfect.

“When you see my face, Hope it gives you hell- hope it gives YOOOOU hell…” Good song.

Oh hello not really cute boy approaching Rachel in the library. She’ll like you I’m sure. (Hello… is it me you’re lookin’ for?- Lionel Richie- this song kinda creeps me out. Not so much the lyrics, but the way the music from the piano comes out- yeah… I don’t like it) Really? Pieces from an orchestra just magically appears in the library? Unh Huh and what library has a piano in it? Isn’t that an oxymoron? (K, I’m over-analyzing this)

How much do you wanna bet that ugly jacket boy is only buttering Rachel up to get info. out of her for the upcoming competition?

Has anyone figured out why the producers chose to have they lip-sync? I mean- this is ridiculous- it doesn’t even look like they are really singing half the time. If we go to see that Glee concert and they aren’t really singing I’ll be PISSED. I may have to pack tomatoes in my purse just in case. (Kidding, we won’t have seats close enough to the stage in order for me to do that)

“Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?”  This girl is such a dizzy broad.

Holy SHENANIGANS! Pillsbury is a virgin?! LOL I guess I’m not surprised, homegirl wears disposable plastic gloves when eating her lunch in the faculty lounge.

Boo-yah! Finn just asked Rachel if she didn’t find it suspicious that ugly jacket boy befriended her right before Regionals. And did Rachel just say- “you have to respect that our love is real”? You just met the boy Rachel!! Love?! That is soooo high school… “sigh… I love him…” **gag**

****GASP**** Idina Menzel!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh OMG I love you!

Okay, so I have seen RENT live twice… or is it three times? I can’t remember. Anyway- I got to see it on BROADWAY! Hubby and I got lottery tickets and won second row seats- ugh, best moment of my life. I saw Wicked (though not when she was in it)- LOVED IT. I am just a huge fan. She’s pretty and I love her voice.

I love that she’s Taye Diggs’ wife. (Yaay for interracial couples) I love that they FINALLY had a baby who’s soooo cute- Walker Diggs- really? Ugh.

Borrowed from Idina’s Website

Okay, so this is waaay off topic, but you can totally tell she just had a baby- her boobs are HUGE.

Moving on…

LOL She likes making out with Show Choir directors. Oohhh Idina.

“Everyone is replaceable, even you.” Ugh, Kurt is so fierce. Where’s my gay male friend… I want one! LOL

Ha Ha Ha “McKinley High Old Maid’s Club?!?!” “Have a seat boy hips” hahahaha

Ugh, figures she wouldn’t leave the show… I can’t get pleasure that easily. She being Terri.

That’s right Pillsbury! Stand up to that bitch!

Unh uh, no she didn’t just push your spoon out of place!! BITCH!

Do you really think this dude still has feelings for Terri? I guess it’s possible cause they were together so long, but ugh. I want this Pillsbury thing to work.

Throw that fuckin’ yearbook against the wall Pillsbury.

Oh it was a MUSIC STORE she met ugly jacket boy in, not the library- my mistake.

“You say goodbye, I say hello…” I LOVE songs from commercials! This was in a Target commercial last year. “I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello…”

Sue Sylvester singing? Really? Is this really her? Come on… She looks pretty, though.

Ohh look at Kurt, he was MADE for this. I love him.

LOL “Will Scheuster, I hate you…” LOL She would squeeze that in there somehow.

Next week’s episode should be interesting.

See you then!

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